Friday, November 5, 2010

Fetal Pole?

My husband and I went to have my ultrasound this morning. It was a followup to my inconclusive ultrasound last week. I am utterly overwhelmed with emotion right now, it is so difficult to put into words what I am feeling...

The tech was able to see the gestational sac clearly. "Here is the gestational sac inside of your uterus and here is a yolk sac. And there may be a second yolk sac here, but I am not seeing a fetal pole." She called the doctor in. In my head, I am thinking haphazardly, "I remember that we had trouble seeing the fetal pole last week, and I cannot believe there may be two!"

The doctor came in and she also saw the same thing as the tech. The sac should be measuring 7weeks, 5 days, but instead measured 7 weeks, 0 days. She kept pointing to different spots where they thought that they could see a heartbeat and continued to doppler it and try to find it. Each attempt futile in its efforts.

After 20 minutes of searching, they told my husband and myself that I may be miscarrying, since they were able to see a fetus last week and now are unable, but they didn't want to say the pregnancy was over at this point. For now, it is a wait and see. We will come back next Friday to have another ultrasound unless I have bleeding or pain before then, and then I can come in earlier than that. Francie again hugged me and said she was sorry and walked out of the room.

I cried hard. My hubby wrapped his arms around me and I just told him to let go. I don't want to admit that I am losing this baby, but can't imagine everything being ok, either. I am conflicted. I am searching a site called www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com hoping I can find some hope.

Father, I thank you again for allowing me to conceive another one of your children. I pray that you continue to bless this pregnancy and our marriage. Give us strength to endure whatever it is you have in store for us, whether it be managing this pregnancy for 7 more months or dealing with a miscarriage. I pray that you allow us to be healthy. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

7 comments:

  1. Praying for you Sunshine! Not the update I was hoping to read but praying for some more positive news next week! Hugs!

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  2. Praying and believeing with you that our God is greater! He's got you in the shelter of his arms...you are not alone in this! This baby(babies?) are inside you on his timing alone and I believe that his timing is perfect! Find your refuge and rest for your weary mind and heart in him...

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  3. Praying for you Sunshine! I totally agree with Danielle....not what I was hoping to see!! I am not only praying for both of your sanity, but also that you come back next week and they are like "no wonder we had a hard time finding a fetal pole....there's 2 babies!" I am so sorry you guys are going through this and hope that things turn around. I will be staying tuned.

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  4. Thanks ladies! He is good indeed and despite my ambivalence, I am blessed to be carrying this baby!

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  5. Tons of prayers Sunshine! I am in agreement with BBMB...they will come back and say there are two :) And I will pray for one or two, however many babies, to continue a healthy pregnancy and growth and that in 9m you will deliver a healthy baby or babies!!!!

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  6. Oh, Sunshine!! I will keep you in my prayers. I am hoping for only a positive outcome! I love you and will keep you close to my heart.

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