Shaking, I walked into the fertility clinic at 10am. I was nauseous and had to go to the bathroom, but I was waiting for them to call me back because I was sure they would need a urine sample. Fifteen minutes later I was escorted to room #7.
"Do you need a urine?"
"Nope, go ahead and use the restroom and remove your clothes from the waist down."
I thought for sure I was going to throw up while I waited for the ultrasound tech, Francie, to come into the room. And then she came in and asked how I was feeling. I told her nauseous and scared. She asked why? and then remembered that I had 3 mature follicles when I was here last. HEHE!
She inserted the probe and there it was. A gestational sac with a yolk sac inside. "There is only one," she said. And digging through with the probe, she began looking more intently. "Usually we don't have you come in this early and I am having trouble seeing the fetal pole. Let me zoom in."
"Is the baby too small for the dates?" I asked. It seems as though I know way too much about the details of all of this.
"Yes, you are only measuring less than 5 weeks," she says to me and then asks the resident observing, "could you go outside and get a doctor so I can get another set of eyes to find the fetal pole."
I know that fetal pole means heartbeat, so I am starting to tear out the corner of my eye. "It's ok," she said, "don't do that yet."
After 5 minutes, a doctor I have never met before enters the room and points out what he calls flickers and tells the tech he thinks that is it. She pokes around some more and she says, "I still don't see it." I start to tear some more.
Eventually, she notices what he sees and they explain that I should come in next week and there will be no doubt if it is there or not. He continues to talk and tell me about a bunch of things and it is just like background noise to me. I tried to pay attention, but all I wanted to know was does it have a heartbeat. He asks if this was my first pregnancy and I sadly say, "no, 3rd. I had a full term loss 5 years ago and an early loss 5 months ago." And then the tech tells me, "120 beats per minute and a 6 week, 2 day old fetus!"
I was elated. Thank the LORD that he has allowed me to conceive again and to have a baby that is right on track. The doctor tells me not to worry and that there was a study done that said frequent ultrasounds after loss shows the current pregnancy less likely to result in loss. He said probably due to not being stressed. So he said that anytime I feel scared, or see some spotting, just call them and they will do another ultrasound, but for now, set one up for next week.
The tech who has done an ultrasound on me every month since May gave me a hug and I cried.
Father, thank you so much again for allowing me to carry another one of your creations. You are amazing and I love you! Please bless this little one. In Jesus' name, AMEN.