Thursday, March 25, 2010

Month 10, Cycle 8, Day 1

Started my period today. Took 32 days this cycle. I went to the doctor yesterday and she thought I ovulated on Day 18. She wants it to be closer to day 14, so she is wanting me to increase my dose of clomid to 150mg.

I am so anxious. I HATE those pills. I hate feeling crazy and noticing every single twinge, pinch, ache and pain. Dr. says she sees a lot of success in the 3rd month of clomid, and from what I read, if someone hasn't become pregnant by the third month, then success is not likely to happen in that way of treatment. So, if I do the round of clomid, this is probably the last shot. Then, I will need to investigate Reproductive Endocrinologists to see about a sperm specimen and other tests to figure this out. I almost think I should schedule the appointment to be sure I don't miss out on another month of trying.

Anyway, emotions all over the place. I haven't decided if I have the strength to go one more round. I should start Clomid on Saturday if I do decide to do it. If so, then I am gonna need a lot of support from you guys who think this is a great option for me. Keep the encouragement coming. Send good notes, warm feelings, signs from God, messages in a bottle, cards, flowers, candies and personal experience stories. I thrive off of these things. Why do you think I choose to write a blog about my experience? Because I know how much other people's experiences help me.

I forgot to add that for about 4 days I entertained the idea I might be pregnant. Although I was spotting and cramping and my temperature dipped and I had a negative urine test, when Dr. felt my uterus and said it felt fuller to her, I thought, well, maybe!! Then the negative blood test came this morning and I found myself more than spotting. Oh well, I was expecting it, sort of.

Father, thank you again for another chance to become pregnant by allowing me to ovulate and have a period. I appreciate the intricacies about the human body and life cycle. Please help me to become pregnant this month as this may be our last option. I know you are the author of life and you know better than I, but I am asking boldly for my will to be yours. Help others who are trying to help me through this. Give them the right words to encourage me and lift me up. Help me also I am holding others up in their journeys. I love you and thank you again. In Jesus' name, AMEN~!

SHOULD I DO ANOTHER ROUND? IF SO, WILL YOU SUPPORT ME? Share your opinion and thoughts here.

3 comments:

  1. Even without a BFP, I truly believe this cycle was definitely a success. The medication was able to bring about ovulation, which is awesome and was such a very long time in coming. Was the doctor encouraged because you did ovulate?

    I am praying for you and will support you, whatever decision you and Shaun make.

    Shandra

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  2. Sunshine- you can do this! You are so strong to have gone through all that you have. And you have seen changes in your body. The clomid is helping your body to do what God intended for women's bodies to do. Would you be able to look back and not ask yourself what if? You've only gone through two clomid cycles so far, and yes, they were horrible. But look at what else you have gone through that has been horrible in your life: the death of your mother and your son. You have come out on the other side of these with God's help. He will help you through this too. He will be your strength. He will hold you up in your moments of "crazy"-ness. You will make a wonderful mother! Keep trying!

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  3. Melissa, thanks my cheerleader friend! gimme a C-L-O-M-I-D! Thank you I needed a laugh and definitely some cheering on. Great encouragement. Hope you are doing well. I know you have been through some disastrous things as well. Thanks again.

    Doc wants it to be better, Shandra! Not definitive of ovulation, still 16-18 and she wants it closer to 14. I think I will try. Starts again tomorrow.

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