Monday, March 1, 2010

Month 10, Cycle 7, Day 8

I finished my last Clomid pill this cycle yesterday. Today I started my estrogen. Then, the red spotting. I was scared! I knew I read in the medical side effects section that the pharmacy supplies to me, that I needed to report this bleeding between periods to my doctor as this is rare, and yet serious. So, I called the doctor and she is asked me to come in for a blood pregnancy test. She doesn't think it is so, since she personally did the urine test 5 days ago, but needs to rule pregnancy out first of all. I should know tomorrow about the test. My worry is that I have grown a cyst that is about to rupture or blood clots or whatever. Or if I am pregnant, did the clomid do irreversible damage to the embyro or worse yet, am I going to have to terminate, or miscarry or it is an ectopic??? The anxiety is a bit much, but I am trying to manage by putting God's truth up around me to protect me. "Fear not, for I am with thee!"

Yes, I know that He is in control of all things, and he would not have put the desire to have children so heavily on my heart, if he did not intend to fulfill it. A friend offered me this advice in a nutshell "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" I am so close to the end of this road...I can feel it, and I just have to keep my eyes cast on HIM!

LORD, you are worthy and holy and powerful. I praise you! In Jesus' healing name, AMEN!

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