Monday, February 22, 2010

Month 9, Cycle 7, Day 1

Started my period today, one hour after I took another home pregnancy test that turned out to be negative. So, I called the doctor and will be seen on Wednesday for a manual exam to see if I have large cysts or not. If not, the plan is to do another round of clomid. I guess we will see if I will have an increased dose or not.

I learned on Friday that I have a very strong chance of being laid off come the end of the school year for my full time job. I have contract rights to hold my job for 2 years, but it sounds like cuts would be so drastic that they would not be returning at least 4 teacher assistants of the 10-16 TA layoffs to be done. I am #2 from the bottom of the seniority list, so I would most certainly be laid off first and not be rehired. Then on Sunday, I learned that my part time job is laying off full time employees, so the part time hours would be given to the union, full time staff, so as of March 5, I probably won't be working there either. Which makes me feel ambivalent about continuing to try to get pregnant by extreme measures. Especially since I can't predict whether or not I would be able to get on medicaid or which doctors and hospitals accept it either.

So, do I take the pills or not? I also had some side effects that I really don't want to repeat. Any suggestions or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Anyone have any additional knowledge about how to increase my chances for pregnancy this coming month, please leave a reply. A friend indirectly suggested that I decide which is more important to Shaun and me; having a family or having financial security. I guess that is a matter of prayer -- Because God has a plan for me, I don't always know what though.

Oh, one more thing...Shaun has a long weekend getaway he does every year beginning March 5-7. How convenient it is that it will be among possible ovulation and high fertility dates...should I ask him to stay home, or should I drive down to Columbus, Ohio if my temps drop or a get a peak fertility reading. Or should I skip this month's chances all together. BTW, after someone asked him (not me) if he would skip, he sighed very loudly and said he would be VERY upset about it, but he would if it were the only way... :-(

Father, I thank you that you have a plan set for me before I was in my mother's womb and I thank you for the experiences you have given to me over my life, even when they have caused me pain. You are an omniscient God and I ask that you provide a clarity to me so I make make wise choices. You alone are holy and worthy and I pray that you continue to remind me that I need only you to feel fulfilled, but I ask that you give me the desires of my heart -- to raise a christian family.

I pray again for others who are on the journey in their various milestones. May their journeys be filled with awe in what you are doing in and through them. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

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