Saturday, May 15, 2010

Month 12, Cycle 9, Day 20

"Hey now, this is my desire, consume me like a fire, cause I just want something beautiful to touch me!"


Of anything else I wanted more, raising a Christian family tops my list. From the time I was so small, I remember dreaming about who my children would be and how they would be used to impact God's kingdom. I would have 3 kids of my own; 2 girls and a boy and they would be God's servants by ministering to others in their community and beyond. They would would have a great example from their parents who volunteered in their church and community and they would inherit passion and purpose from me. I dreamed also that I would foster many children and instill in them the desire to seek God despite their neglected upbringing. In addition to this service to children, I would help their families to be restored to teach them to care for God's greatest gift to them --their children. My own children would be so impressed by my dedication to Christ and children, that they too would become parents with similar passions. My gauge for picking a husband was that He, too, had to have the desire to raise a Christian family as well. Lucky for me, Shaun was willing to jump in feet first

I am so close to this goal. How have I lived 30 years with this dream, and with God not willing to allow me this opportunity? I can only hope that the Lord is preparing my heart more fully for this task. That He sees this calling so great that I must have everything to be in order. I can see the vision so clearly and yet so far away.

Check out a new blog about a woman who has struggled with infertility three years.

Father, please give me my desire. Teach me what I need to know to be the best parent and foster mom I could possibly be and fill me with your presence. I am overcome with gratitude for You. You have placed in me the ability to see good in all things and I thank You for allowing me to be used by You! Forgive me Lord for the times when I doubt Your goodness. I have weak moments in this journey and cannot truly believe that You are not good, but sometimes I succumb to this lie. I pray that my children to be are beautiful ~ they are created by You and are exactly the people You have wanted them to be. I pray that You help me see the bigger picture when I get so wrapped up in me. I know that it is not about me, but about Your glory, Your kingdom and Your people!! I love You, Jesus.

Protect my friends who are on similar infertility journeys, that you show them the way to proceed. I pray protection over my friends who are expecting; that You protect their pre-borns and give each of them a glimpse at how they will be used by You. I ask that You provide special love to those moms who have lost their children, that You comfort them in the way only a parent who has buried His child could! Wrap your loving arms around each one of them and help them to see something beautiful. In Your amazing name, Jesus, AMEN!!

1 comment:

  1. BTW...I am taking progesterone and hope to start my period by next weekend so this next cycle can begin and we can proceed with the new plan. God is so good!