Monday, May 10, 2010

Month 12, Cycle 9, Day 15

I cannot believe that I am not pregnant already! Am I ever going to get pregnant? Was I ever pregnant before? Did I dream this happened? Is PCOS for real?

I'm never getting a baby. Maybe I can convince a few parents out there to let me borrow theirs for a while. I tried to convince my nephews yesterday to come live with me. I pulled out all the stops -- ice cream, own room, no other siblings, lots of money. They all retreated and said they wanted to live with mommy. Mommies are overrated, I say. So really, anyone know of anyone wanting to get rid of their kid?

I told my hubby today that I am now going to be scouring the area for kids who need better homes. I guess it made me sound like I was going to kidnap them, but really I just want to adopt without paying more money than I have saved. Adoption is soooo expensive.

I have to find out the cost of infertility treatments that I am being recommended to do. My insurance company says I have to be preauthorized first to do anything. So, I have to call them with the procedure codes for all of the things my hubby and I have to have tested and done. Then the insurance company will tell me if they will cover it or not. If not, then I have to get an estimate of what it will cost and decide if it is worth it for me to pay. Since I am losing my job and my hubby is unemployed and paying college tuition, I don't know how much we really can afford. The financial lady at the fertility specialists office has not been in, so I haven't got this info yet. I was told she would be there tomorrow. We will see.

In the meantime, I am desperately begging God for a miracle. Please let me become pregnant without the aid of all this craziness! Or at least help me not be a whack-job that I seem to be developing into. Obsessed??? Yes. Crazy? Maybe. Whack-job? Not yet.

Father, thank you for a sound mind. I ask that you help me to continue to maintain it. Thank you for the gift of the internet. That I can send information to people all over that may be comforted by the things I go through and know that they are not alone. I pray for redemption for your children. In Jesus' name, Amen.

1 comment:

  1. Day 17 -- no real signs of ovulation, so I started the Prometrium to induce a period. Should take 12-14 days. Hubby has his semen test next week and we should know results aroud the time I make my appointment for the sonohysterogram. I think I will start Femara on Day3-7 and have the sono on day 7. Then on day 14 I will have an ultrasound to check my follicles and possibly have a trigger shot. So I expect to have the sono done fist of June and trigger 2nd week of June, so by the end of June I am praying for a positive pregnancy test!!!!