Thursday, April 22, 2010

Month 11, Cycle 8, Day 29, 11 dpo

So, my temp dipped a little this morning -- 98.1, but it is still above my pre-ovulation temps. I should start my period Sunday or Monday. I am trying to hold out on testing until Saturday, but I went to the dollar store for 3 tests today. Maybe I will test tomorrow morning. I think there is like a 60% chance of getting a positive if I am in fact pregnant.

The two week wait is TORTURE! When I have been wanting a child for over 6 years and have actively tried for about a year, waiting 3 more days to test seems like sooooooooooooooo long. I can't concentrate on much else. Seems like even when there is other things I could be worrying about, I continue to focus my attention on my pregnancy like symptoms. Cramping could just be a sign of period coming, but today it means I am pregnant, I tell myself. The craziness continues.

Father, help me keep my sanity in the midst of all the drama with trying to conceive and the other societal pressures out there! In Jesus' name, AMEN!


  1. Maybe the temp dip is a good thing - maybe it's an implantation dip. :) The tww is horrible and seems like the longest two weeks ever. Saturday morning is just one morning away!

    I follow a blog by Angie Smith called Bring the Rain. Her husband is in the Christian band, Selah. They lost their daughter, Audrey, part way through her pregnancy.

    Her blog is really wonderful, I end up crying and laughing at the same time. Her last blog entry is about being in the time between a miracle happening and when we get to see the miracle, sort of standing in the gap between those two things. She used a 'chance' conversation with one of her daughters about which tree was the most beautiful and Ellie picked a tree that was not in bloom or even leafed out because it held a mystery.

    This is what she said -

    "The beautiful, resilient flower that we call our Christ was dead. Or so it seemed.

    I am shattered by the humble recognition that somewhere in the night, there is a divine plan that I am unaware of. While I tuck my children into bed and pray for Him to have His way and live within my every thought, I will remember the tomb. I will remember the long, winding roads that I must walk to see His face. I will anticipate the moment where the bread is broken and I fall face first before Him in worship.

    I will continue to choose the tree that has secrets.

    I will not be enticed by the blooms that fade quickly, but rather allow myself to live in the mind of a seven year old who realizes that the most amazing thing we can look to in this life is the part that is hidden, waiting for rebirth.

    I believe with all my heart that one day I will be in the presence of the One Who watches my Audrey, and I will thank Him for the moments He gave me here on this earth in the presence of a crooked, weathered tree that I could have given up on long ago.

    And in that place, I will know the secrets. I will understand the mystery. I will cling to it's truth and bow my head in reverence.

    Beautiful Savior, may all the world see you in the midst of the blooming and choose to believe that Your splendor is waiting, somewhere beyond the brittle branches, and may we live lives that glorify the Man Who made light in the darkness of a tomb..."

    I'm praying for peace and patience for you, Sunshine, today and everyday.


  2. I am still praying very hard for you Sunshine!!!! Hoping this month is for SURE a BFP!

  3. Praying very hard for you here too! I know this tww is torture and I hope the time goes by quickly until you decide it is time to test!
    Shandra-i follow her blog too!