Month 8, Cycle 6, Day 1

Today could very well be the first day of my child's life, technically speaking. Today is actually first day of my period of this cycle. It appears I did not ovulate last cycle and it was only 25 days long. This was a conversation I had with my husband today (with a little exaggeration added for effect):

"So you wanna do the Clomid route starting Monday?"
"Yeah, let's do it" he says.
"What do you think Suze Orman would say?"
"Probably 'you-can-not-afffffford-it!'" he mocks her while chuckling and I laugh with him.
"I think she would say," I say back to him in my most obnoxious and nasally voice, "I see how desperate you two are to have children and even though I worry about your situation, you cannot bank on maybe getting laid off or if he will continue getting unemployment or whatever. It's like I always say, 'PEOPLE FIRST, then money, then things.'"
"So you think she will approve us?" he grins.
"Yes, I think she will. She will say, 'a baby is a people, right? And your marriage is your people, so go for it!! You have been approved!!"

I think I will call the doctor on Monday and begin taking the Clomid that day. She said it would be day 3 - 5 that I need to take it. She said to call the office the day I begin my period~they are closed on the weekend though.

Interesting how we often go to people who are seemingly experts in an area and try to figure out what they may say on a matter. I suppose I should have asked what do I think God would say. I think He would say, "people first" too. He is a relational God and He knows that despite all my ways to try to control the situation, he is in fact in control of it all. If it is not my time to get pregnant, he won't allow it even though I am on Clomid. And if it is, He will do it Clomid or not.

Father, thank you again for reminding me that you are in control of all things and that you are a God who asks for us to be in relationship with you. I praise you for loving me first so I can also say, 'I love you, too'. Bless those who are in different stages of pregnancy, infertility, or loss as they are reading on this page. I ask you to bless me in this next endeavor and gift me with your child. In Jesus' name, Amen!