Sunday, January 17, 2010

Month 8, Cycle 5, Day 20

I didn't ovulate this month as far as I can tell. Nothing showed on my fertility monitor and my temps are not rising. I have been taking progesterone supplements 2 times/day from day 17 and will continue until I get my period. As far as what I had scheduled with the doctor, I should start taking Clomid within the next 10 days or so, or on the 3rd day of my next cycle! There is like 85% chance of conceiving while on this drug.

I had known for a long time that there was a small possibility that I could be laid off starting in July. That is why I was trying to get pregnant long ago, so that I would have insurance to cover me throughout the pregnancy. My husband has been unemployed for over a year and is now going to school, but won't be done with school for another 2 years. His unemployment will end this summer. At my staff meeting on Friday at my full time job for the LISD, there was some grave news regarding school budget. It appears that lay offs are imminent and yet have not been finalized. I am #2 from the bottom of the seniority list in my classification. If they choose to lay off teacher assistants, I am assured to be laid off.

Herein lies the dilemma: I am not sure how responsible it is for me to consciously choose to take Clomid to become pregnant when my financial future is not looking good. I know that there is never a perfect time to have kids, but when is there a decidedly BAD time to choose to have children? I am thinking that I am going to postpone the Clomid until I have a pretty good idea that I will employed next school year. If I were to get pregnant on my own, I wouldn't be upset by it, I would just roll with it and figure it out. It is just the "extra help" that I am wondering about. (Side note: at this point in time, my body is not able to get pregnant on its own, and I am desperate to become a mom!)

So, I am soliciting a lot of responses from you wise people out there. I don't have a mom, so any response would be greatly appreciated. I need to make this decision within the next ten days. Should I postpone Clomid and do the natural bit because it is irresponsible? Or should I just go for it because it will work itself out?

Father, I seek out wise counsel on what is your will. Thank you for the gift of friendship and the internet to seek those who are seeking you. I pray for my girls who are pregnant and need your support on a daily basis, and those who are not who are still trying, and those who have chosen to close that chapter in their lives. Meet them where they are and provide comfort to them! In Jesus' name, Amen!


  1. It's so hard not to try everything you can to get pregnant when you really want a child. I've always known I wanted more than 2 children and even though my body feels like it's the right time to try again, my husband is telling me "No" because our finances aren't in the best shape. While I want to say that God will bless us and work things out even if we have a child in the midst of poverty, I can't with a clear conscience knowingly bring another child into this world when I know I can't guarantee the best stability for him/her. If I got pregnant without trying, I'd have to deal with it; but at this point we're doing everything we can NOT to have a child (protection, birth control, etc) because it would be devastating. We don't even have insurance to cover the prenatal care, so that makes it doubly irresponsible for us to have a child right now, and it may be so for you guys. I have a friend whose daughter is 4 and they JUST paid off her delivery bills! Insane. Just think about where you're going and your goals and how the job news affects those goals. I know God will lead you to make the right choice for all of you.

  2. I don't know alot about Clomid, but it seems that your body needs a boost to get back into it's normal rhythm.

    There is never a 'right' or perfect time to start a family, but waiting until that right time comes along could mean that it never happens at all or it could be more costly and stressful.

    If things go bad with the ISD, it could be that this was the right time for you to slow down and spend precious time with Shaun and any children God provides if you get pregnant.

    I guess what side of the fence I'm on is definitely on the side of try the Clomid, see if it helps get your body back to ovulating on it's own. You have a great support system who will not let you fall, Sunshine.

    You and Shaun are in our prayers and I know that God will provide wisdom and insight for these decision making days. God will provide for all of your needs, He knows the deep desire you have for a family.