This week has went by in a hurry. I have had 3 doctor visits since my last post.
On Tuesday, Sept. 6 I had my first NST at the MFM office at St. Joe's. The non-stress test measures baby's heart rate in relation to his movements. They also monitor contractions if there are any. See August 26th's post for description of NSTs and BPPs. My baby boy is extremely active and passed this test with flying colors. Mom's weight was 150.4 and blood pressure was 116/60.
On Friday, Sept. 9 I went in for my first Biophysical profile and growth ultrasound. At 33 weeks, these are his stats:
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 135 beats per minute
Head circumference:30.94 cm
Head length (BPD): 8.45 cm
Femur length: 6.46 cm
Abdominal circumference: 29.19 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty: 21.8 (anything over 10 is good and under 24)
Weight: 4lb, 14 oz
Measuring: 33 weeks, 3 days
Presentation: head down
Mom weight: 149.6
Mom BP: 98/60
Mom Pulse: good
Placenta is looking good and it posterior!
Baby is 47% on the growth curve!!
They do not check for cervical length after 32 weeks. So, this was not necessary. I have been having a lot of braxton hicks contractions, so I worry that my cervix is opening, but they don't seem too concerned.
My BPP score was 8/8! 100% Perfect!
At this appointment I received a Tdap shot for whooping cough and I will get a flu shot in October. The nurse did a consult with me regarding labor, delivery, premature labor, postpartum depression, breastfeeding, etc. I spoke with the doctor about my high after breakfast blood sugars and at this point we are going to try to correct it with diet and wait and see. Here are the answers to some of my questions:
What is this sharp pain in my upper right abdomen: probably baby or ligament. Nothing to worry about.
How many c-sections can I have? No limit at this time, but plan on having the size family you want and we will discuss further after each subsequent pregnancy.
Do you know how much scar tissue I have and will I need a vertical incision? Will not know this until we cut in. Probably won't need a vertical incision.
How soon after baby is born should I do fertility treatments? 18 months as we want the c-section scar to heal properly.
That's a long time!? I know, but let's do this. You are breastfeeding, right? Well, then don't worry about birth control and see if you get pregnant on your own. If you don't, then at 18 months you can see the fertility specialist. (My opinion of this is NO WAY! Maybe I can wait until this boy's first birthday!!)
Can you check my heart murmur as it seemed to be louder after my delivery with Ethan. Do you think this is a problem? She listened and said it sounded like a normal pregnancy murmur.
I was told that I will have a dr. visit at 35 weeks and they will check me for group B strep at that time. Continue to go to my NSTs and BPPs and watch my diet and blood sugars.
Today I went to my NST appointment. I haven't been sleeping well due to baby kicking and contracting. I am quite uncomfortable. Sometimes I have pinching pain in my cervix and backaches. I attribute them to the growing uterus and baby and not really to labor. The nurse checked my BP, it was 100/60, and weight was 151.0. My NST was reactive the way it is supposed to be but I was having a quite a few contractions during the test. The nurse stated that the doctors were out of the office, but would be back at noon and would call me if they felt I needed to be seen in triage. I let the nurse know that I frequently ignore the contractions as I would be a mess and up at triage everyday if I counted all the contractions I felt every day. She just said to let them know when I was having changes in the contractions. I don't think I am in labor, but with all I was telling her she seemed concerned. I have had several contractions since and have not yet received a call from the doctor. I guess I am okay. Next appointment is on Thursday at 11am for a BPP!!!
Father, I pray that you are able to control everything that seems to be out of my hands. I pray that baby boy is healthy, that he comes on your timing and with a smooth transition into this life. I pray for safety and comfort for me through this journey as well.
Father, I lift my sisters who are reading this up and ask that you bless them immensely because of their faith in you. In Jesus' name, AMEN!!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
32 weeks, 3 days
I cannot believe the anxiety and excitement and yet PEACE I feel all at the same time. Maybe I am just always a mess when it comes to identifying one feeling, as it seems as if I write about this trichotomy a lot in my blog. But, it is a real and necessary part of my journey. [trichotomy: division into three parts, especially the theological division of man’s nature into the body, the soul, and the spirit.]
My ANXIETY: Will I make it to my scheduled c-section? Or will my body decide that I need another surprise? Will I have any more complications? Does my few high readings of lunch time blood sugars indicate gestational diabetes? If so, does it really make too much of a difference if I have a couple of highs here and there, or do I need to be more proactive in my diet because it increases my risk of stillbirth and macrosomia? Is this sharp tearing pain in my upper right abdomen a torn muscle? Baby's foot in the ribs? An early indicator of placental abruption? A result of my poor posture due to increased frontal weight shift? Do I have everything for the baby after he is born? Do I have a day care provider available when I need one? Is this person a good fit for our family? Will I have to quit my job so I can be a stay at home mom? Do I want to quit my job? Can I stand the thought of separating from my baby? Will I choose a competent and caring pediatrician? Am I trying to control way too much of what is ultimately out of my control? Will my husband get the necessary time off of school and work so he can help me while I am in the hospital and afterward? Will I have complications during delivery? What if I start to freak out the day before my surgery? What if my job lays me off? What if they lay me off just before I have the baby and then I won't have medical insurance? How will we be able to afford a baby, a car payment, a mortgage, Shaun's tuition? How long will I be able to get off of work? What if I can't breastfeed? What happens if I have to have a hysterectomy? Will I resent that I was never able to have a girl? What happens if my spinal doesn't take? What if my anxiety overwhelms me so much that I can't possibly think straight? What if my hubby isn't able to alleviate my anxiety in the delivery room? Will I feel some of the surgery like my SIL said she felt hers? Will I have a heart attack like my cousin did? Will I lose yet another baby Plato? Is God pleased with how I have let others peer into my life and thoughts or does He think I am still selfish and controlling? Will He love me even through this crazy cycle I put myself through before I pray?
My EXCITEMENT: I am beeeeeeeeeeeYOND excited to meet my little man. And I hope that he is just as excited as I am. I delight in his rhythmic beats of his little feet in my belly. I love to see his body parts peek out from the roundness of my skin. If I weren't so modest, I would wear a bikini top all the time and just stare at the wonder of what he is doing inside of me. I tickle the skin and gently wake him up so he knows his mama is thinking about him. He bunches up inside of me and then we play a game. I love to poke one part in my belly and then stop. My little boy then tries to kick my hand. I tickle or prod a different area and he moves his body in relationship to mine. It's like a game of hide and seek. Sometimes I am not sure who started it! My discovery of his tiny body parts; knees, toes, bottom, back is so much fun. I try to grab the parts and tell him, "I got your toes!" [Ok, I know I am a dork, but I LOVE THIS!!] Today in church we were singing You Are God. The country style song isn't really my kind of tune, but the part where it says, "Life flows from God, it flows from God," was just touching my heart today. I was tearing because of my love for my son. So far I have beenindifferent standoffish unsure about how I feel about this child. I wanted him so badly, but feeling love for him was a kinda foreign thought for me. Maybe it was my mind guarding itself, but today I FEEL LOVE! Love that only flows from God. Because Life FLOWS from God. After all this 2.5 years of trying to get pregnant, losing 2 more babies and now expectantly waiting for his arrival, I know that as much as I wanted to control it all, MY GOD controls the universe and each individual connection within in. I am so stinking excited to look at his little body, count his fingers and toes, peer into his eyes, sniff his baby fresh skin, cuddle with him in my arms, share my life with him, teach him to be a good man and share the love of the LORD with him. Although, I gotta tell you that I think he has a thing or two to share with me about our LORD. ;) I cannot wait to meet him. 39 days. YAYYYYYY!
My PEACE: It comes from God alone. Just look at the sample of the crazy list of questions I worry about all the time. It has to come from God because in all that I worry about, I feel confident that the LORD will complete this pregnancy journey with a wonderful outcome. I feel calm most of the time. The hourly contractions I have been having are but a small inconvenience to me instead of a fearfully trying time. The pain in my abdomen is but an ache in the back instead of dread that I will be rushed to the hospital. The worry last week about child care was alleviated when I prayed for His guidance over this issue and He provided (a story will follow in the coming weeks/months...God's timing is AMAZING!!!) I just feel a great sense of PEACE that all is right in the world. I know that God will will be done. And I trust Him. Period.
I am hoping that this 5.5 weeks goes by quickly enough so I don't have to experience any more crazy cycles of the anxiety, slow enough so I can enjoy the anticipation and excitement and peaceful enough so I can trust in the journey to do it again!
Father, I thank you for the opposing and yet real relationship between these feelings and the ability to communicate them with others. I pray that you bless all who read this and give them a sense of your LOVE, your PEACE, and your provision. I know, God, that I cannot live this life apart from you and ask that you forgive my shortcomings and moments where I think my way is better than yours. I pray that you continue to bless my family and myself and give me the wisdom and courage to boldly examine my choices and decisions as you allow me the opportunity to raise one of your own. Keep me in your arms and teach me to be a great parent and to minister to your people in the midst of my own busy life. In Jesus name, I pray, AMEN!
My ANXIETY: Will I make it to my scheduled c-section? Or will my body decide that I need another surprise? Will I have any more complications? Does my few high readings of lunch time blood sugars indicate gestational diabetes? If so, does it really make too much of a difference if I have a couple of highs here and there, or do I need to be more proactive in my diet because it increases my risk of stillbirth and macrosomia? Is this sharp tearing pain in my upper right abdomen a torn muscle? Baby's foot in the ribs? An early indicator of placental abruption? A result of my poor posture due to increased frontal weight shift? Do I have everything for the baby after he is born? Do I have a day care provider available when I need one? Is this person a good fit for our family? Will I have to quit my job so I can be a stay at home mom? Do I want to quit my job? Can I stand the thought of separating from my baby? Will I choose a competent and caring pediatrician? Am I trying to control way too much of what is ultimately out of my control? Will my husband get the necessary time off of school and work so he can help me while I am in the hospital and afterward? Will I have complications during delivery? What if I start to freak out the day before my surgery? What if my job lays me off? What if they lay me off just before I have the baby and then I won't have medical insurance? How will we be able to afford a baby, a car payment, a mortgage, Shaun's tuition? How long will I be able to get off of work? What if I can't breastfeed? What happens if I have to have a hysterectomy? Will I resent that I was never able to have a girl? What happens if my spinal doesn't take? What if my anxiety overwhelms me so much that I can't possibly think straight? What if my hubby isn't able to alleviate my anxiety in the delivery room? Will I feel some of the surgery like my SIL said she felt hers? Will I have a heart attack like my cousin did? Will I lose yet another baby Plato? Is God pleased with how I have let others peer into my life and thoughts or does He think I am still selfish and controlling? Will He love me even through this crazy cycle I put myself through before I pray?
My EXCITEMENT: I am beeeeeeeeeeeYOND excited to meet my little man. And I hope that he is just as excited as I am. I delight in his rhythmic beats of his little feet in my belly. I love to see his body parts peek out from the roundness of my skin. If I weren't so modest, I would wear a bikini top all the time and just stare at the wonder of what he is doing inside of me. I tickle the skin and gently wake him up so he knows his mama is thinking about him. He bunches up inside of me and then we play a game. I love to poke one part in my belly and then stop. My little boy then tries to kick my hand. I tickle or prod a different area and he moves his body in relationship to mine. It's like a game of hide and seek. Sometimes I am not sure who started it! My discovery of his tiny body parts; knees, toes, bottom, back is so much fun. I try to grab the parts and tell him, "I got your toes!" [Ok, I know I am a dork, but I LOVE THIS!!] Today in church we were singing You Are God. The country style song isn't really my kind of tune, but the part where it says, "Life flows from God, it flows from God," was just touching my heart today. I was tearing because of my love for my son. So far I have been
My PEACE: It comes from God alone. Just look at the sample of the crazy list of questions I worry about all the time. It has to come from God because in all that I worry about, I feel confident that the LORD will complete this pregnancy journey with a wonderful outcome. I feel calm most of the time. The hourly contractions I have been having are but a small inconvenience to me instead of a fearfully trying time. The pain in my abdomen is but an ache in the back instead of dread that I will be rushed to the hospital. The worry last week about child care was alleviated when I prayed for His guidance over this issue and He provided (a story will follow in the coming weeks/months...God's timing is AMAZING!!!) I just feel a great sense of PEACE that all is right in the world. I know that God will will be done. And I trust Him. Period.
I am hoping that this 5.5 weeks goes by quickly enough so I don't have to experience any more crazy cycles of the anxiety, slow enough so I can enjoy the anticipation and excitement and peaceful enough so I can trust in the journey to do it again!
Father, I thank you for the opposing and yet real relationship between these feelings and the ability to communicate them with others. I pray that you bless all who read this and give them a sense of your LOVE, your PEACE, and your provision. I know, God, that I cannot live this life apart from you and ask that you forgive my shortcomings and moments where I think my way is better than yours. I pray that you continue to bless my family and myself and give me the wisdom and courage to boldly examine my choices and decisions as you allow me the opportunity to raise one of your own. Keep me in your arms and teach me to be a great parent and to minister to your people in the midst of my own busy life. In Jesus name, I pray, AMEN!
Friday, August 26, 2011
31 weeks, 1 day
I cannot believe I haven't posted in 5 weeks. Shame on me!!! It has been a long 5 weeks and I am just exhausted. Here are some of the details of what has happened since I last logged in.
*I am getting fat...people are telling me that I look SOOO BIG and "there is no way you will make it to October." For the record, I am SHORT and therefore my belly sticks out farther than the average pregnant woman and I have gained within my allotted amount, so BACK OFF!!! lol
*I wake up a LOT at nighttime. I am soooo very tired all the time. And then at 4am, most nights, I wake up, wide awake and cannot get back to sleep until 6 or 7am. Good thing I work 2nd shifts as I can sleep some more in the morning. But, this means my housework is getting neglected. UGH!
*On August 6th, I switched units at my job because it made my schedule a bit better in that I don't have to do any 3rd shifts anymore and now get a two day weekend (my days off are Thursday and Friday) rather than having to come in on one of my days off for a staff meeting. The change in units has been rather challenging as I am learning some new skills and the job keeps me on my feet a lot more than the previous one. But, it became available and I had to take it when it opened up. Makes it a bit easier to return to when I return from my maternity leave.
*Since taking my new position, and subsequently moving around more frequently, I have been noticing a LOT more braxton hicks contractions. They happen ALL THE TIME...when I have to go to the bathroom, when the baby moves, when I have gas, when I switch positions in bed, when I wake up, when I lay down, etc. So, on August 9th, I went for a walk with my friend as I do a couple of times a week and I had 6 contractions in my one hour walk. She encouraged me to call the doctor. I didn't want to make a big deal about it because I had had a lot of contractions in my pregnancy with Ethan and had started to dilate about this time in his pregnancy too. I had been hooked up to the monitors several times and given anti contraction medication a couple of times and still never delivered him until 40 weeks. So after I got home from the walk, I lied down on my left side, drank a bunch of water and the contractions subsided. I called the doctor anyway and spoke with one of the nurses who talked to the doctor. They told me that some people have what is called uterine irritability, so these contractions I was having could just be normal for me. I was instructed to call if I had more than 12 in a day and more than 4-6 in an hour and they would assess it again. But, I am not worried.
On 8/18/11 I went into the doctor for my 30 week checkup and ultrasound.
Here are my notations for his growth at 30 weeks, 0 day:
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 150 beats per minute
Cervical length: 3.0 mm (this is good as long as it is over 3 mm).
Head circumference: 28.49 cm
Head length (BPD): 7.64 cm
Femur length: 5.69 cm
Abdominal circumference: 26.94 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty: 16.6 (anything over 10 is good and under 24)
Weight: 3 lb, 9 oz
Measuring: 30 weeks, 2 days
Presentation: head down
Mom weight: 150.0 (random fact: I was this weight at the beginning of Ethan's pregnancy, so hopefully I won't gain too much more as I worked hard to take off the weight after his pregnancy)
Mom BP: 100/60
Mom Pulse: good
Placenta is looking good and it posterior!
This baby has been consistently in the 55th percentile on the growth curve and is doing just great. The doctor reviewed the ultrasound and came in to tell me that she looked hard to try to find something that was off, but everything is looking just perfect!! I showed her my sugar readings and there were two that were high, so she wanted me to test more of my breakfast time sugars to be sure that was under control. I think it is fine, I just have not been following my diet very closely as I had with Ethan's pregnancy. I am eating a lot of donuts, fast food, sugared cereals, etc. So far, I am not diagnosed with gestational diabetes, so I will not be a slave to the rigidity of the diet until I have to.
We talked a long time with Dr. Keeton as she is so patient with us. She described how the c-section will go, who can be in there with me, what happens to the baby when he is born, where Shaun will be, how anesthesia will manage my care. Again she asked if I needed some counseling as I approach delivery and my anxiety increases. I let her know this is not necessary as I have dealt with the grief, anxiety, and my thoughts. I just needed specific information related to my current care and health and that is what would ease my anxiety. We talked about my cousin who had a heart attack during her c-section and the doctor assured me that this was extremely rare and shouldn't worry about that, but let the anesthesiologist know all my concerns when I get there. So I need to make a list of what I am supposed to remind the anesthesiologist on the day of the c-section. I will do that later.
I have an NST (non-stress test) scheduled for September 6th. I will be 32 weeks, 5 days then and will be at the office twice a week from then on. I will be seen 3 days later for a BPP (biophysical profile) and doctor visit and every 3-4 days the cycle will continue until I deliver.
An NST is where I will have a contraction monitor and a heart rate monitor strapped to my belly. I will mark whenever the baby moves and when a healthy baby moves, the heart rate usually goes up. If the baby moves two or more times in 20 minutes and the heart rate increases by 15 beats and stays increased for 15 seconds, then the baby is probably doing well. The contraction monitor will record how the baby's heart rate reacts to contractions as well as if there are too many contractions at one time.
A BPP is an ultrasound that looks at the baby's muscle tone and movements and checks the baby's breathing movements, the fluid around baby, and the general health of the baby. I have never had this done before, so I am not sure how it assesses health correctly. I will let you know soon enough...2 weeks from now is my first BPP.
So, we are well into the 3rd trimester. My back is aching, my hips hurt and sometimes my belly gets beat up so badly by his little feet that I go numb in some spots. In less than 7 weeks we will meet our little boy!!! I am so stinking excited!!!
Father, thank you so much for blessing our pregnancy and our marriage in this way. We praise you for who you are and what you are doing in our lives. I ask that you be with us for the next 48 days and you show your goodness to all around us!! Your love is beautiful. In Jesus' name, AMEN!
*I am getting fat...people are telling me that I look SOOO BIG and "there is no way you will make it to October." For the record, I am SHORT and therefore my belly sticks out farther than the average pregnant woman and I have gained within my allotted amount, so BACK OFF!!! lol
*I wake up a LOT at nighttime. I am soooo very tired all the time. And then at 4am, most nights, I wake up, wide awake and cannot get back to sleep until 6 or 7am. Good thing I work 2nd shifts as I can sleep some more in the morning. But, this means my housework is getting neglected. UGH!
*On August 6th, I switched units at my job because it made my schedule a bit better in that I don't have to do any 3rd shifts anymore and now get a two day weekend (my days off are Thursday and Friday) rather than having to come in on one of my days off for a staff meeting. The change in units has been rather challenging as I am learning some new skills and the job keeps me on my feet a lot more than the previous one. But, it became available and I had to take it when it opened up. Makes it a bit easier to return to when I return from my maternity leave.
*Since taking my new position, and subsequently moving around more frequently, I have been noticing a LOT more braxton hicks contractions. They happen ALL THE TIME...when I have to go to the bathroom, when the baby moves, when I have gas, when I switch positions in bed, when I wake up, when I lay down, etc. So, on August 9th, I went for a walk with my friend as I do a couple of times a week and I had 6 contractions in my one hour walk. She encouraged me to call the doctor. I didn't want to make a big deal about it because I had had a lot of contractions in my pregnancy with Ethan and had started to dilate about this time in his pregnancy too. I had been hooked up to the monitors several times and given anti contraction medication a couple of times and still never delivered him until 40 weeks. So after I got home from the walk, I lied down on my left side, drank a bunch of water and the contractions subsided. I called the doctor anyway and spoke with one of the nurses who talked to the doctor. They told me that some people have what is called uterine irritability, so these contractions I was having could just be normal for me. I was instructed to call if I had more than 12 in a day and more than 4-6 in an hour and they would assess it again. But, I am not worried.
On 8/18/11 I went into the doctor for my 30 week checkup and ultrasound.
Here are my notations for his growth at 30 weeks, 0 day:
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 150 beats per minute
Cervical length: 3.0 mm (this is good as long as it is over 3 mm).
Head circumference: 28.49 cm
Head length (BPD): 7.64 cm
Femur length: 5.69 cm
Abdominal circumference: 26.94 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty: 16.6 (anything over 10 is good and under 24)
Weight: 3 lb, 9 oz
Measuring: 30 weeks, 2 days
Presentation: head down
Mom weight: 150.0 (random fact: I was this weight at the beginning of Ethan's pregnancy, so hopefully I won't gain too much more as I worked hard to take off the weight after his pregnancy)
Mom BP: 100/60
Mom Pulse: good
Placenta is looking good and it posterior!
This baby has been consistently in the 55th percentile on the growth curve and is doing just great. The doctor reviewed the ultrasound and came in to tell me that she looked hard to try to find something that was off, but everything is looking just perfect!! I showed her my sugar readings and there were two that were high, so she wanted me to test more of my breakfast time sugars to be sure that was under control. I think it is fine, I just have not been following my diet very closely as I had with Ethan's pregnancy. I am eating a lot of donuts, fast food, sugared cereals, etc. So far, I am not diagnosed with gestational diabetes, so I will not be a slave to the rigidity of the diet until I have to.
We talked a long time with Dr. Keeton as she is so patient with us. She described how the c-section will go, who can be in there with me, what happens to the baby when he is born, where Shaun will be, how anesthesia will manage my care. Again she asked if I needed some counseling as I approach delivery and my anxiety increases. I let her know this is not necessary as I have dealt with the grief, anxiety, and my thoughts. I just needed specific information related to my current care and health and that is what would ease my anxiety. We talked about my cousin who had a heart attack during her c-section and the doctor assured me that this was extremely rare and shouldn't worry about that, but let the anesthesiologist know all my concerns when I get there. So I need to make a list of what I am supposed to remind the anesthesiologist on the day of the c-section. I will do that later.
I have an NST (non-stress test) scheduled for September 6th. I will be 32 weeks, 5 days then and will be at the office twice a week from then on. I will be seen 3 days later for a BPP (biophysical profile) and doctor visit and every 3-4 days the cycle will continue until I deliver.
An NST is where I will have a contraction monitor and a heart rate monitor strapped to my belly. I will mark whenever the baby moves and when a healthy baby moves, the heart rate usually goes up. If the baby moves two or more times in 20 minutes and the heart rate increases by 15 beats and stays increased for 15 seconds, then the baby is probably doing well. The contraction monitor will record how the baby's heart rate reacts to contractions as well as if there are too many contractions at one time.
A BPP is an ultrasound that looks at the baby's muscle tone and movements and checks the baby's breathing movements, the fluid around baby, and the general health of the baby. I have never had this done before, so I am not sure how it assesses health correctly. I will let you know soon enough...2 weeks from now is my first BPP.
So, we are well into the 3rd trimester. My back is aching, my hips hurt and sometimes my belly gets beat up so badly by his little feet that I go numb in some spots. In less than 7 weeks we will meet our little boy!!! I am so stinking excited!!!
Father, thank you so much for blessing our pregnancy and our marriage in this way. We praise you for who you are and what you are doing in our lives. I ask that you be with us for the next 48 days and you show your goodness to all around us!! Your love is beautiful. In Jesus' name, AMEN!
Friday, July 22, 2011
26 weeks, 1 day
Ok, I am a slacker. Sorry for the lack of report. I am quite tired lately and just haven't been feeling up to blogging.
Two weeks ago I had a checkup with the nurse so to ease some of my anxiety. It was kinda pointless. I knew he was doing well as he kicks the crap out of me daily. So, I traveled there for a blood pressure and weight and baby heart rate visit. We both were doing fantastic. No problems and all was good. So, the 2 hour drive there and back didn't seem worth the 10 minute check-up. Note to self -- you can deal with not going for 4 weeks. If you suspect a problem, have one of your nursing friends check your pulse, blood pressure, and your fellow-obsessive-mama-consultants can check baby's heart rate with their fetal heart monitors. Or call the doc and she will send you to triage. DUH!
So over the last four weeks I have been enjoying this baby. He moves all over the place, he makes my belly jump and I really don't mind maternity clothes. I have some contractions here and there, but nothing I am too concerned about. I have begun walking 3 times a week again and testing my blood sugars randomly has not been too extreme at all. I feel a bit lazy at times and don't really get much of my housework done like I should, but overall, I don't care that much about it either. I find myself waking up to go to the bathroom and often times am up for a few hours afterward. Thankfully, baby is active at this time and we can bond over the Lifetime Movie Network Shows and then we get back to sleep for a few hours. It is hard to get comfortable in bed as once I lay on one side, baby lets gravity move him all the way to the mattress. And then it starts getting uncomfortable again, so I switch sides and he floats back to the other side of the mattress. The game I play is prop a pillow under one hip, so I am not flat on my back and then try to balance him in the center of my belly. This floating made me wonder if he had too much amniotic fluid to move around in.
Yesterday, on the hottest day of the year, I had an ultrasound and doctor appointment scheduled. I haven't really been too affected by the heat as I love summer and hate to complain about something I love. But, it was a hot one! Shandra drove me to AA since I do not have air in my car. (Thanks Shandra!!) The ultrasound was first and since we had just eaten at Chili's less than an hour prior to the appointment, I decided I couldn't wait until after the ultrasound to use the restroom. So, I went and then filled up my bladder again as I am supposed to have 16 oz of water one hour prior. Once in the ultrasound, the tech told me that my bladder was really full. No need to tell me, I already know!!!!!!!!
Here are my notations for his growth at 26 weeks, 0 day:
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 155 beats per minute
Cervical length: 3.7 mm (this is good as long as it is over 3 mm).
Head circumference: 21.4 cm
Head length (BPD): 6.5 cm
Femur length: 4.9 cm
Abdominal circumference: 22 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty: 15.1 (anything over 10 is good and under 24)
Weight: 2 lb, 1 oz
Measuring due date: October 30, 2011 (within a week of the ovulation due date, so due date will remain the same -- October 27, 2011)
Mom weight: 146.2 (yikes....)
Mom BP: 100/50
Mom Pulse: 68
Placenta is looking good (I had her do a thorough look at it and use color to verify where blood enters and leaves) and his kidneys and bladder are distended like they should be. He is now head down and looked like he was punching me in the bladder!
This little boy is doing fine. No problems with amniotic fluid at all. My sugars are looking great so I will just need to check randomly. Not even as much as I have been.
I asked about a TB test...it is fine to do during pregnancy.
I asked about being in the extreme heat especially at work...it is fine so long as you can get cool and stay hydrated. No prolonged outdoor activities that are like Saunas.
We talked about my high risk condition and what limitations I have that is different from a normal pregnancy. She told me that so far every thing has turned out normally, but we are being overly-cautious because of the outcome of Ethan's pregnancy. No scuba diving, skydiving, horseback riding, climbing ladders, excessive heat, any activity that has the potential for falling or overheating.
We talked about vacationing and how far away I should be from home. She stated that I could travel by car just fine, but if it made me feel better that I could map out the closest big hospitals nearby before I choose a destination and if I needed to call the office for reassurance, I could do so.
We talked about the frequent nose bleeds I had been having, and she decided that I needed to have a CBC (complete blood count) done and she would check my platelets. She also wanted to get my records from Ethan's delivery and subsequent clotting factor labs that I had had done. I thought I had sent them there, but they had not arrived.
After the appointment, I scheduled almost all of the rest of the appointments up to the date of delivery. I will return in 4 weeks for a dr. appt. and ultrasound. Then 2 weeks later I will have a dr. appointment. Then I will have Non stress tests on Mondays, and bio-physical profiles on Thursdays each week until I deliver. Took us 15 minutes just to schedule all the appointments!!!
All in all, I feel great, and baby is healthy. I can't wait to meet little guy.
Father, thank you for such great reports. I praise you because you continue to astound me in your creation and how you worked the human reproduction all out. It is truly amazing and I am beyond blessed. Thank you so much for your faithfulness. AMEN!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
22 weeks, 2 days
I am starting to really get anxious...and I don't mean all in the good way.
I had my 22 week appointment on Friday. I started the day off extremely nauseous. While I was getting ready to leave my house for the 45-50 minute drive to Ypsilanti to the doctor, my hair straightener was warming up in the bathroom and I was pouring my cereal for breakfast, I took one small bite and got this overwhelming feeling of YUCK! I was deep breathing to try to ward off the gag reflex as I made my way to the bathroom. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was getting hot and dizzy. I decided it was better for me to lay on the couch and remove some of my excess clothing -- it was a cool and misty day after all, so I was bundled with long jeans and a long sleeved shirt. As I lay there, breathing heavily and moaning, Shaun stared across the room at me in wonder. "Are you okay?"
"Um, no, I am gonna puke," I tell him.
"Do you want me to cancel the appointment? We are going to be late if we don't leave soon."
I thought about the anxiousness I had been feeling over the last week. I had been contracting a lot more than I thought I should, I had this scraping feeling near my pelvic area, and my friend's who work at St. Joe's just told me that the lead doctor in the practice was no longer apart of the practice and the helicopter service was being merged with another hospital. Plus, it had been a long 3 weeks since I had last seen the doctor. "No, don't cancel. If I am late and they don't let me in, then I will probably want to go to the hospital anyway, since I am feeling anxious about these contractions and excess movement I have been having. Give me a minute to sit up slowly and regain my composure and we can go."
The next few minutes I was certain that I wasn't going to be able to make the almost one hour drive without barfing, so I asked Shaun to find something to take with us for a vomit basin. He found a small waste basket from our computer room to lug along. Slowly, I got up, redressed myself and shut off my hair straightener before leaving.
I managed to will myself to drink the 16 ounces of water one hour before the appointment so the technologist could have a full bladder for my ultrasound. And luckily did not need to use the makeshift basin in the car. We arrived 7 minutes late, but the receptionist did not mention my tardiness, just signed me in as usual.
The ultrasound began and we saw once again our little boy who was growing as he should. The sonographer pointed out that he was a footling breech, which explained to me why it felt as though he was trying to dig his way out of my uterus. One of his feet are hanging down by my cervix and his head is up near my lungs.
I had my 22 week appointment on Friday. I started the day off extremely nauseous. While I was getting ready to leave my house for the 45-50 minute drive to Ypsilanti to the doctor, my hair straightener was warming up in the bathroom and I was pouring my cereal for breakfast, I took one small bite and got this overwhelming feeling of YUCK! I was deep breathing to try to ward off the gag reflex as I made my way to the bathroom. It took me a few seconds to realize that I was getting hot and dizzy. I decided it was better for me to lay on the couch and remove some of my excess clothing -- it was a cool and misty day after all, so I was bundled with long jeans and a long sleeved shirt. As I lay there, breathing heavily and moaning, Shaun stared across the room at me in wonder. "Are you okay?"
"Um, no, I am gonna puke," I tell him.
"Do you want me to cancel the appointment? We are going to be late if we don't leave soon."
I thought about the anxiousness I had been feeling over the last week. I had been contracting a lot more than I thought I should, I had this scraping feeling near my pelvic area, and my friend's who work at St. Joe's just told me that the lead doctor in the practice was no longer apart of the practice and the helicopter service was being merged with another hospital. Plus, it had been a long 3 weeks since I had last seen the doctor. "No, don't cancel. If I am late and they don't let me in, then I will probably want to go to the hospital anyway, since I am feeling anxious about these contractions and excess movement I have been having. Give me a minute to sit up slowly and regain my composure and we can go."
The next few minutes I was certain that I wasn't going to be able to make the almost one hour drive without barfing, so I asked Shaun to find something to take with us for a vomit basin. He found a small waste basket from our computer room to lug along. Slowly, I got up, redressed myself and shut off my hair straightener before leaving.
I managed to will myself to drink the 16 ounces of water one hour before the appointment so the technologist could have a full bladder for my ultrasound. And luckily did not need to use the makeshift basin in the car. We arrived 7 minutes late, but the receptionist did not mention my tardiness, just signed me in as usual.
The ultrasound began and we saw once again our little boy who was growing as he should. The sonographer pointed out that he was a footling breech, which explained to me why it felt as though he was trying to dig his way out of my uterus. One of his feet are hanging down by my cervix and his head is up near my lungs.
Here are my notations for his growth at 22 weeks, 1 day:
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 153 beats per minute
Cervical length: 3.1 mm (this is good as long as it is over 3 mm).
Head circumference: 19.55 cm
Head length (BPD): 5 cm
Femur length: 3.8 cm
Abdominal circumference: 16.9 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty, we will begin measuring this starting the next ultrasound
Weight: 1 lb, 1 oz
Measuring due date: October 31, 2011 (within a week of the ovulation due date, so due date will remain the same -- October 27, 2011)
Mom weight: 139.8 (up 3.4 pounds from last visit...yuck, gotta get this under control)
Mom BP: 102/78
Mom Pulse: 90 (yep, still anxious and nauseous)
Mom O2: 99
I knew I was going to be meeting with Dr. K., the one doctor in the practice that I had not met with yet. She walked into the room with a bright smile on her face and introduced herself. She stated she had heard my name and knew about me but couldn't believe she had not met with me yet. I just started talking, telling her about my nausea and all the other things I had mentioned. Finally I slowed down and took a deep breath and asked her pointed questions.
Me: I have been contracting significantly these last few weeks, do you think I should be monitored?
Dr. K: Any time you want, call us and talk to us about your concerns, and we can send you to triage and have it checked out. It is okay to be anxious after your losses.
Me: Well, I live an hour away, so I don't want to come to triage for nothing. But, I felt my cervix a little lower this morning and it felt like it might have a fingertip opening to it.
Dr. K: Would you feel better if I checked you?
Me: Could you, please? Also, I heard that Dr. B. is gone. How will the office be restructured?
Dr. K: nothing you need to worry about. There will be a doctor on call and one in the office every week.
Me: So, you and Dr. W. will split the duties 50/50 now instead of 40/30/30 before?
Dr. K: yes, and we have a midwife you may see at your office visits sometimes, and we have another doctor in here who will work minimally, but you probably won't see him much.
Me: So, since you have heard about me, I guess you know my history pretty well.
Dr. K: Yes, I have read over everything you have provided to us, including your previous pregnancies and doctor reports regarding that, but don't want you to have to relive all the details of your losses by having to share it once again with me if you don't want to. But, if you want me to know anything more specific, I will let you share whatever it is you want to share with me.
Me: Good, and I don't need to share anything else right now, but may want to at future visits. If I have a bleeding emergency, will it be quicker to send a helicopter or for me to drive to St. Joe's.
Dr. K: Good question. But, you will need to go to your local hospital first even if you want a helicopter to pick you up, they won't pick you up at your home.
Me: I know, but my local hospital was not equipped to deal with my emergency even when I was admitted in the hospital the last time, so I would like to be transported somewhere I could get an anesthesiologist immediately.
Dr. K: Understandable, but think positively that you are not going to have an emergency this time. Do you think you need to take something for your anxiety? Like Zoloft?
Me: I have been doing okay with my anxiety and don't think I need meds. I just have been worried a little more this week.
Dr. K: well, let us know whatever we can do to help you get through this pregnancy. It is going to be okay and we are monitoring you so very closely and want you to be able to enjoy this time and feel okay about it. So, if you think you need meds, please let us know and tell us what you need to feel more comfortable. Speaking of which, have you talked with the other doctors about your delivery.
Me: Well, I was told I couldn't deliver until 39 weeks and that the safest way to do so was by c-section. What do you think?
Dr. K: I always think vaginal deliveries are best except when there is a possibility for uterine rupture from prior surgeries. Plus, you need to not go full term, so I would not recommend induction, but if you were to come in to the hospital at 5 cm dilated at say 35 weeks and you were strong into labor, then we would see how it goes and let you deliver, but at this point, I would suggest a c-section at 38 weeks. Is that ok?
Me: um...yes, ok by me.
Dr. K: good. Cause I just scheduled it for October 13, 2011 at 8am.
Me: um...hmmmmm....ok! Are you going to be the doctor on call that week and deliver me?
Dr. K: yes, that is me. And then you will see our new doctor on Friday morning rounds, but me for the most part. Is that ok?
Me: yep. Ok.
Dr. K: Now let's talk about the potential for gestational diabetes. What do you think about just taking a few random fasting blood sugars at home and a few random 1 hour after meals and tell me if you see any more than a couple highs or detect any patterns instead of having to drink the glucose and doing the 3 hour test again?
Me: Um...ok. But, my batteries in my glucometer are dead.
Dr. K: Well, get some new batteries, and we will give you a script for some test strips. Now, you don't have to do all the blood sugars, but just randomly test them and let us know at each visit what you did.
Me: Ok.
Dr. K: your ultrasound looks good, your cervix is high and closed tight, and I think you are doing great. Now, when would you like to come back again?
Me: When would you like me to?
Dr. K: Whenever will make you feel more confident and comfortable with this process and reduce your anxiety. Was 3-4 weeks too long between visits?
Me: yes.
Dr. K: Ok, then, what if we have you come in 2 weeks from now and do a nurse visit where she will check weight, blood pressure, baby's heart rate and answer any questions from you and if you need to see the doc, we will be right here. And then in 4 weeks you can come in and have a growth ultrasound and then see the doctor. You can alternate every 2 weeks between doc and nurse and then at 32 weeks we will be seeing you twice a week; one for ultrasound and one for NST. And we will deliver you at 38 weeks. But, if you say you can't stand it anymore at 36 weeks, then we will deliver you then, too. What do you think about that?
Me: Perfect.
The visit was over. I scheduled my nursing visit for July 7 and the next ultrasound for July 21. WOW!
I didn't tell the doctor this, but I had been secretly hoping that I would deliver on October 13. On that day, 11 years ago, was the day my mother died. Shaun thinks I am crazy superstitious, but whatever. I would like to honor my son by sharing with him that he was born on the day of his grandmother's death. I feel like this is a great thing as this would solidify this day as a day of happiness instead of a day of dread. However, when my mom died it was Friday the 13th, so I am ultimately glad that this year October 13th falls on a Thursday. :) Ok, Shaun, you are right. I have a little superstition. hehe. I do know that this is not a set in stone date. If for any health reason it is safer for baby boy to come sooner, I will not hesitate to have his birthday be in late September or before October 13. But, under no circumstances do I believe he will be born after this date. So, here it is. In 16 weeks or less, baby boy Plato #2 will arrive. And, I am anxiously awaiting his presence. Both nervously and courageously.
Father, I thank you so much for a very patient doctor who is willing to let me have a little sense of control over this pregnancy to feel confident in my ability to deal with it. I thank you for the changes that have been made in the office that at first seemed to be a burden on me, but has turned into a blessing. I thank you for giving me a glimpse of hope amidst the scariness of this pregnancy by infusing my mother's birth date to Heaven into the potential birth date of her grandson. I thank you that you are forever in control of all the circumstances and outcomes of this pregnancy and all the rest of everything.
I pray that you continue to provide solace and blessing to Shaun and me during the next 4 months and beyond and praise you for your provision with Shaun getting a job this week despite the threat of unemployment being depleted. I praise you that your perfect timing have been proven over and over again and I ask that you continue to astound me with your presence. I thank you and praise you every moment.
I pray Lord for my friend's babies that I blogged about earlier this month and ask that you continue to help them heal. But, praise you from the mountaintops that both of them are home and thriving!!! I pray that you continue to show yourself faithful and merciful to their families by giving them HOPE through your son Jesus and showing them miracles in their everyday advancements. Praise you for a job well done, once again, Great Physician.
I pray all this and much, much more in the mighty name of Jesus, AMEN!
Placenta: looking good along the back of the uterus
Heart Rate: 153 beats per minute
Cervical length: 3.1 mm (this is good as long as it is over 3 mm).
Head circumference: 19.55 cm
Head length (BPD): 5 cm
Femur length: 3.8 cm
Abdominal circumference: 16.9 cm
Amt. of amniotic fluid: plenty, we will begin measuring this starting the next ultrasound
Weight: 1 lb, 1 oz
Measuring due date: October 31, 2011 (within a week of the ovulation due date, so due date will remain the same -- October 27, 2011)
Mom weight: 139.8 (up 3.4 pounds from last visit...yuck, gotta get this under control)
Mom BP: 102/78
Mom Pulse: 90 (yep, still anxious and nauseous)
Mom O2: 99
I knew I was going to be meeting with Dr. K., the one doctor in the practice that I had not met with yet. She walked into the room with a bright smile on her face and introduced herself. She stated she had heard my name and knew about me but couldn't believe she had not met with me yet. I just started talking, telling her about my nausea and all the other things I had mentioned. Finally I slowed down and took a deep breath and asked her pointed questions.
Me: I have been contracting significantly these last few weeks, do you think I should be monitored?
Dr. K: Any time you want, call us and talk to us about your concerns, and we can send you to triage and have it checked out. It is okay to be anxious after your losses.
Me: Well, I live an hour away, so I don't want to come to triage for nothing. But, I felt my cervix a little lower this morning and it felt like it might have a fingertip opening to it.
Dr. K: Would you feel better if I checked you?
Me: Could you, please? Also, I heard that Dr. B. is gone. How will the office be restructured?
Dr. K: nothing you need to worry about. There will be a doctor on call and one in the office every week.
Me: So, you and Dr. W. will split the duties 50/50 now instead of 40/30/30 before?
Dr. K: yes, and we have a midwife you may see at your office visits sometimes, and we have another doctor in here who will work minimally, but you probably won't see him much.
Me: So, since you have heard about me, I guess you know my history pretty well.
Dr. K: Yes, I have read over everything you have provided to us, including your previous pregnancies and doctor reports regarding that, but don't want you to have to relive all the details of your losses by having to share it once again with me if you don't want to. But, if you want me to know anything more specific, I will let you share whatever it is you want to share with me.
Me: Good, and I don't need to share anything else right now, but may want to at future visits. If I have a bleeding emergency, will it be quicker to send a helicopter or for me to drive to St. Joe's.
Dr. K: Good question. But, you will need to go to your local hospital first even if you want a helicopter to pick you up, they won't pick you up at your home.
Me: I know, but my local hospital was not equipped to deal with my emergency even when I was admitted in the hospital the last time, so I would like to be transported somewhere I could get an anesthesiologist immediately.
Dr. K: Understandable, but think positively that you are not going to have an emergency this time. Do you think you need to take something for your anxiety? Like Zoloft?
Me: I have been doing okay with my anxiety and don't think I need meds. I just have been worried a little more this week.
Dr. K: well, let us know whatever we can do to help you get through this pregnancy. It is going to be okay and we are monitoring you so very closely and want you to be able to enjoy this time and feel okay about it. So, if you think you need meds, please let us know and tell us what you need to feel more comfortable. Speaking of which, have you talked with the other doctors about your delivery.
Me: Well, I was told I couldn't deliver until 39 weeks and that the safest way to do so was by c-section. What do you think?
Dr. K: I always think vaginal deliveries are best except when there is a possibility for uterine rupture from prior surgeries. Plus, you need to not go full term, so I would not recommend induction, but if you were to come in to the hospital at 5 cm dilated at say 35 weeks and you were strong into labor, then we would see how it goes and let you deliver, but at this point, I would suggest a c-section at 38 weeks. Is that ok?
Me: um...yes, ok by me.
Dr. K: good. Cause I just scheduled it for October 13, 2011 at 8am.
Me: um...hmmmmm....ok! Are you going to be the doctor on call that week and deliver me?
Dr. K: yes, that is me. And then you will see our new doctor on Friday morning rounds, but me for the most part. Is that ok?
Me: yep. Ok.
Dr. K: Now let's talk about the potential for gestational diabetes. What do you think about just taking a few random fasting blood sugars at home and a few random 1 hour after meals and tell me if you see any more than a couple highs or detect any patterns instead of having to drink the glucose and doing the 3 hour test again?
Me: Um...ok. But, my batteries in my glucometer are dead.
Dr. K: Well, get some new batteries, and we will give you a script for some test strips. Now, you don't have to do all the blood sugars, but just randomly test them and let us know at each visit what you did.
Me: Ok.
Dr. K: your ultrasound looks good, your cervix is high and closed tight, and I think you are doing great. Now, when would you like to come back again?
Me: When would you like me to?
Dr. K: Whenever will make you feel more confident and comfortable with this process and reduce your anxiety. Was 3-4 weeks too long between visits?
Me: yes.
Dr. K: Ok, then, what if we have you come in 2 weeks from now and do a nurse visit where she will check weight, blood pressure, baby's heart rate and answer any questions from you and if you need to see the doc, we will be right here. And then in 4 weeks you can come in and have a growth ultrasound and then see the doctor. You can alternate every 2 weeks between doc and nurse and then at 32 weeks we will be seeing you twice a week; one for ultrasound and one for NST. And we will deliver you at 38 weeks. But, if you say you can't stand it anymore at 36 weeks, then we will deliver you then, too. What do you think about that?
Me: Perfect.
The visit was over. I scheduled my nursing visit for July 7 and the next ultrasound for July 21. WOW!
I didn't tell the doctor this, but I had been secretly hoping that I would deliver on October 13. On that day, 11 years ago, was the day my mother died. Shaun thinks I am crazy superstitious, but whatever. I would like to honor my son by sharing with him that he was born on the day of his grandmother's death. I feel like this is a great thing as this would solidify this day as a day of happiness instead of a day of dread. However, when my mom died it was Friday the 13th, so I am ultimately glad that this year October 13th falls on a Thursday. :) Ok, Shaun, you are right. I have a little superstition. hehe. I do know that this is not a set in stone date. If for any health reason it is safer for baby boy to come sooner, I will not hesitate to have his birthday be in late September or before October 13. But, under no circumstances do I believe he will be born after this date. So, here it is. In 16 weeks or less, baby boy Plato #2 will arrive. And, I am anxiously awaiting his presence. Both nervously and courageously.
Father, I thank you so much for a very patient doctor who is willing to let me have a little sense of control over this pregnancy to feel confident in my ability to deal with it. I thank you for the changes that have been made in the office that at first seemed to be a burden on me, but has turned into a blessing. I thank you for giving me a glimpse of hope amidst the scariness of this pregnancy by infusing my mother's birth date to Heaven into the potential birth date of her grandson. I thank you that you are forever in control of all the circumstances and outcomes of this pregnancy and all the rest of everything.
I pray that you continue to provide solace and blessing to Shaun and me during the next 4 months and beyond and praise you for your provision with Shaun getting a job this week despite the threat of unemployment being depleted. I praise you that your perfect timing have been proven over and over again and I ask that you continue to astound me with your presence. I thank you and praise you every moment.
I pray Lord for my friend's babies that I blogged about earlier this month and ask that you continue to help them heal. But, praise you from the mountaintops that both of them are home and thriving!!! I pray that you continue to show yourself faithful and merciful to their families by giving them HOPE through your son Jesus and showing them miracles in their everyday advancements. Praise you for a job well done, once again, Great Physician.
I pray all this and much, much more in the mighty name of Jesus, AMEN!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
20 weeks, 3 days
This past week has been emotionally draining. With a friend's newborn baby boy in the NICU after his surgery last week, and another friend's 2-month old baby girl having surgery a couple of days ago for the same rare disease, I was just about spent. I can't say that I am particularly close to either of these friends. We are acquaintances in the sense that we don't see each other regularly. In fact, I hadn't met with my first friend face to face since several years ago when she started attending a different church. And the other friend and I are bonded by the loss of our previous children, having met each other in a support group. So, Facebook has made it easier for me to be in contact with people I might not otherwise have a face to face relationship. And for this I am grateful, but will keep their names obscured for the sake of the parents privacy.
So, when baby girl was born 2 months prior, I visited her and her mom in the hospital a day after birth. She was so precious, but was having trouble feeding. Days later she was in the NICU and it was discovered she had a rare genetic disease affecting her bowels. She was able to go home within a week when she passed stool on her own, but the doctors knew that soon she would need surgery. I prayed for her and her family the entire week she was in the NICU until her mom was able to bring her home, happy and seemingly healthy.
And when baby boy was born two and 1/2 weeks ago, I was stunned that he too had difficulty with feeding and pooing. He was taken to the NICU and was determined to have the same rare genetic disorder, but was forced to have surgery that day. Immediately I was drawn to prayer. I lifted his little body up to the one who is the Great Physician, certain that He would heal him and bring him home to his mommy. It was the least I could do, I thought, as so many wonderful people had prayed for me during my time with Ethan in the NICU.
And when I asked my baby girl friend to pray for this family too, she gladly agreed and let me know she was meeting with the surgeon this week too.
On Wednesday, I received a message on my answering machine from a support group leader who was sharing with me that baby boy was having complications from surgery and would need to have more surgery. That call shook me to the core. I fell to my knees, begging, weeping, pleading with God to surround the family with his angels and give them peace as they underwent yet another trial. I could not stand to know that this family was enduring more than I thought they could bare. I had never interceded like that in my life. It felt as though God instructed me to pray, stabbing me in my heart, pulling at all my fears at once. The overwhelming need to cry and sob and beg and plead on their behalf took me over. I was in the moment, with God, and asking him to be all that they needed.
It was great to hear news that he had made it through the surgery ok, but sad to know that his recovery time was to be weeks.
The following day, I learned that baby girl was due to have the same surgery as baby boy had the week prior. Knowing what I knew about baby boy, I again interceded with the same intensity that I had previously with baby boy. It is so hard to do anything else. So I will pray. Baby girl's surgery went well and will have some more recovery time.
But, what I learned this past week is no one is exempt from these trials, babies are complex and God is amazing with timing. I cannot describe really how this timing all seemed to work together, but from the way I view it, it has been entirely too perfect. I cannot wait for the day I see baby girl and baby boy crawling and playing with one another, happy and healthy.
And so this week I wept. I wept for remembering my time with a baby in the NICU. I wept for the babies who underwent surgery and NICU stays. I wept for the moms and dads of these infants. I wept for those who are currently pregnant awaiting a healthy newborn. And I wept for those who are still surviving infertility. Yes, I haven't forgotten about you.
People have said that once I was pregnant and expecting I would forget all about the time and torture it took to get here. I assure you, I have not. 6 years ago I was pregnant with my first son. 5.5 years ago I delivered complicatedly my son and within 5 days he died. For two more years I was instructed not to get pregnant so as not to put more risk to me. For an additional 1.5 years we feared another pregnancy. Once we began trying, 6 months passed without a period. 6 additional months passed inducing a period with medications that made me wacky. One month after consulting with a fertility specialist, I achieved and miscarried a second pregnancy. 4 months and no pregnancy later, we decided to endure hormone shots and achieved pregnancy again, only to miscarry my baby girl 2 months later. And for the next grueling 3 months figured that our time to conceive and carry a child to term had ceased, only to find that we were finally expecting a healthy baby to arrive. I feel like I have been trying to have kids for 6 + years. This is the longest pregnancy in the history of the world, it seems. I cannot forget the countless hours I prayed for and wished for and pined for a healthy baby and even though I carry one in my womb, I know too well the hundreds of things that could go wrong. I know too many people who continue to have trials despite surviving others. So, I remember you, my infertility sisters who are still on the journey to achieve pregnancy and I applaud you for still trying. Don't give up and keep trusting that the God who loves you will provide! If he put that desire in your heart, he will fulfill it. BELIEVE IT!!
I close today with a prayer for my NICU babies and for my infertility friends: Father, I pray for baby boy and baby girl who continue in their recovery period after surgery this past week. I pray that you bring peace to the families, strength to the infants and a complete full recovery of them both. I pray for your provision of the other details surrounding the other family members and ask that you be present with them at all times. I pray also for my infertility sisters that you give them glimpses of what you are trying to do within them to bring them the family the so desire. Give them wisdom, good doctors and perseverance despite years of trying. I pray that they achieve pregnancy soon. I pray all this and more in the mighty name of JESUS! AMEN!
So, when baby girl was born 2 months prior, I visited her and her mom in the hospital a day after birth. She was so precious, but was having trouble feeding. Days later she was in the NICU and it was discovered she had a rare genetic disease affecting her bowels. She was able to go home within a week when she passed stool on her own, but the doctors knew that soon she would need surgery. I prayed for her and her family the entire week she was in the NICU until her mom was able to bring her home, happy and seemingly healthy.
And when baby boy was born two and 1/2 weeks ago, I was stunned that he too had difficulty with feeding and pooing. He was taken to the NICU and was determined to have the same rare genetic disorder, but was forced to have surgery that day. Immediately I was drawn to prayer. I lifted his little body up to the one who is the Great Physician, certain that He would heal him and bring him home to his mommy. It was the least I could do, I thought, as so many wonderful people had prayed for me during my time with Ethan in the NICU.
And when I asked my baby girl friend to pray for this family too, she gladly agreed and let me know she was meeting with the surgeon this week too.
On Wednesday, I received a message on my answering machine from a support group leader who was sharing with me that baby boy was having complications from surgery and would need to have more surgery. That call shook me to the core. I fell to my knees, begging, weeping, pleading with God to surround the family with his angels and give them peace as they underwent yet another trial. I could not stand to know that this family was enduring more than I thought they could bare. I had never interceded like that in my life. It felt as though God instructed me to pray, stabbing me in my heart, pulling at all my fears at once. The overwhelming need to cry and sob and beg and plead on their behalf took me over. I was in the moment, with God, and asking him to be all that they needed.
It was great to hear news that he had made it through the surgery ok, but sad to know that his recovery time was to be weeks.
The following day, I learned that baby girl was due to have the same surgery as baby boy had the week prior. Knowing what I knew about baby boy, I again interceded with the same intensity that I had previously with baby boy. It is so hard to do anything else. So I will pray. Baby girl's surgery went well and will have some more recovery time.
But, what I learned this past week is no one is exempt from these trials, babies are complex and God is amazing with timing. I cannot describe really how this timing all seemed to work together, but from the way I view it, it has been entirely too perfect. I cannot wait for the day I see baby girl and baby boy crawling and playing with one another, happy and healthy.
And so this week I wept. I wept for remembering my time with a baby in the NICU. I wept for the babies who underwent surgery and NICU stays. I wept for the moms and dads of these infants. I wept for those who are currently pregnant awaiting a healthy newborn. And I wept for those who are still surviving infertility. Yes, I haven't forgotten about you.
People have said that once I was pregnant and expecting I would forget all about the time and torture it took to get here. I assure you, I have not. 6 years ago I was pregnant with my first son. 5.5 years ago I delivered complicatedly my son and within 5 days he died. For two more years I was instructed not to get pregnant so as not to put more risk to me. For an additional 1.5 years we feared another pregnancy. Once we began trying, 6 months passed without a period. 6 additional months passed inducing a period with medications that made me wacky. One month after consulting with a fertility specialist, I achieved and miscarried a second pregnancy. 4 months and no pregnancy later, we decided to endure hormone shots and achieved pregnancy again, only to miscarry my baby girl 2 months later. And for the next grueling 3 months figured that our time to conceive and carry a child to term had ceased, only to find that we were finally expecting a healthy baby to arrive. I feel like I have been trying to have kids for 6 + years. This is the longest pregnancy in the history of the world, it seems. I cannot forget the countless hours I prayed for and wished for and pined for a healthy baby and even though I carry one in my womb, I know too well the hundreds of things that could go wrong. I know too many people who continue to have trials despite surviving others. So, I remember you, my infertility sisters who are still on the journey to achieve pregnancy and I applaud you for still trying. Don't give up and keep trusting that the God who loves you will provide! If he put that desire in your heart, he will fulfill it. BELIEVE IT!!
I close today with a prayer for my NICU babies and for my infertility friends: Father, I pray for baby boy and baby girl who continue in their recovery period after surgery this past week. I pray that you bring peace to the families, strength to the infants and a complete full recovery of them both. I pray for your provision of the other details surrounding the other family members and ask that you be present with them at all times. I pray also for my infertility sisters that you give them glimpses of what you are trying to do within them to bring them the family the so desire. Give them wisdom, good doctors and perseverance despite years of trying. I pray that they achieve pregnancy soon. I pray all this and more in the mighty name of JESUS! AMEN!
Friday, June 3, 2011
19 weeks, 1 day
Oh, the joy of pregnancy. I adore it. Life within me. It is especially affirming when I think I know that baby is kicking daily and the back is up against this side or the head is pounding on my pelvic bone, etc., and then the ultrasound confirms my thoughts. I am in LOVE.
Yesterday was our BIG ultrasound. Thanks to my losing Ethan, I am blessed with many ultrasounds this pregnancy, but this was the main one. The one that proves health and all body structures present and the presence or not of a penis!
My husband was able to get out of a couple of hours of clinicals to go with me. The appointment was in the late afternoon. It has been super important for us to know the gender of the baby so we could finally talk about names. For some reason, Shaun refuses to discuss serious names if he is unsure of the sex.
The day was beautiful. The sun shone bright amidst a clear blue sky with a light breeze. After an hour's drive to the doctor, we proudly walked in the office. There were several visibly pregnant women there, all waiting on ultrasounds as well. Since this is a high risk office, there is no measuring tape to guess baby's size. Every one has a more accurate ultrasound to assess baby's health.
We met Francie, a distinctly different ultrasound tech from the Francie at the U of M fertility office, but her namesake nonetheless. This dark haired lady hurried me onto the table and dug in with her probe. With my notepad in tow, I asked her to please explain what she was seeing and share with me the details. My list looks like this:
u/s sonographer: Francie
measuring: 19 weeks, 1 day
weight: 275 grams
Placenta: looks good, homogeneous, no clots or sub-chorionic hematomas
Umb. Cord: insertion is good, 3 vessels all flowing
heart rate: 144 beats per minute
Heart: 4 chambers, valves operational
Right and left ovaries: both 2.4 mm, back to normal size
cervical length: 3.5cm (perfectly normal)
anything unusual? Nothing found
10 fingers, 10 toes: YES!
head circumference: 16.22 cm
head diameter: 4.21 cm
femur length: 2.94 cm
abdominal circumference: 14.12 cm
Presence of 2 kidneys, kidney arteries, lungs, amniotic fluid, arms, legs, and a PENIS!!
We were so excited. All in all the ultrasound took 35 minutes. As soon as she revealed the sex, she had me leave the room to empty my bladder so she could see my cervix as baby's head was stuck down there. She turned the lights on, and Shaun was grinning. Probably the biggest grin I have ever seen. Similar to the grin I saw him have when he held Ethan for the first time. Even though we knew at that time that it was 90% likely he would die, Shaun smiled proudly for the camera. I knew he wanted a boy. Almost as much as I wanted a girl. I smiled, too, and said, "well, I guess we are having more kids." I thought if I got a girl, then maybe I would be done with this roller coaster of infertility and pregnancy. I guess not.
I only gained 2 pounds from the last visit 4 weeks ago and that brings my total weight gain to 12 pounds since ovulation day....136.4. Yikes. I finally admitted it. My goal is to stay under 150. That was my starting weight with Ethan's pregnancy. I was much more of a chunkier girl then, and I worked hard for 5 years to bring my weight down, don't want to ruin it now. Blood pressure is low: 100/62 and doctor seems to think I will be getting dizzy over the next few weeks as my blood pressure may drop even lower. She is confident that everything is going great and recommended that I visit her again in 3 weeks. So, next ultrasound and appointment will be June 24 @ 10am!!!
I am so blessed. I wrote in my notebook as we sat in the waiting room in between the ultrasound and the doctor . . . SO OBSESSED WITH THIS LITTLE BOY!
Father, Thank you so much for a calm visit, a healthy baby and a beautiful dream coming true in our 2nd son. We are beyond blessed and ask that you continue to bless this pregnancy. Give us the strength to endure the next 20 weeks, and to bring home this healthy robust young boy to his EARTHLY home!
I pray for my friends who have just given birth, that you continue to show them how much of a blessing they have received. I also pray fervently for baby Sutton who is undergoing surgery at this moment for a bowel obstruction. At only one week old, I beg that you keep him safe, make him healthy and pull him through surgery with your tender loving arms and place him back in his mother's arms. I pray that you allow him to heal quickly so he may go home with his mama as early as next week.
Thank you so much for the blessing of friendship and for so many people you have placed into my life to mentor, to learn from and to love. We ask all this in Jesus' name, AMEN!
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