Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New adventures are sure to come

Today I had my blood drawn again...last week it was 14, and today it was 8. The last few weeks have made the pregnancy hormone dwindle very slowly. However, my doctor said that I do not have to have it drawn again and just assume that it is negative for pregnancy as of next week. This means I will begin my regimen of tests and meds and start a cycle soon. I will probably be starting prometrium to induce a cycle beginning next week and could possibly be starting my cycle by the second week in January. If things are looking good as far as tests go, then I may begin the hybrid medications at that time. Who knows, maybe this baby will be conceived on Ethan's 5th birthday, January 14?

By the way, I also had a phone call regarding karyotyping of the tissue that was tested after the D&C. The nurse informed me that everything looked completely normal and that means Shaun and I did not pass down any genetic mutations and we won't need to have our karyotypes tested. I then asked her if she would tell me the sex of the fetus...And she did. I had a little girl. It is weird knowing this. I am glad that I know, but at the same time it makes it more sad to grieve the loss of a daughter as opposed to the loss of a pregnancy. Now, I wished I would have went full term and been able to see my little girl face to face. I feel so bad that my body rejects pregnancy and just want to know that it is not going to happen to any more little ones any more.

Father, Thank you so much for modern medicine that it can map out exactly the chromosomes we have just from a little bit of tissue. If I wanted, I would have been able to ask what color her hair and eyes would have been. You already know this and you were the one who created this entire genetic process. I love that you are intricately involved in our being and I praise you for allowing science to discover what you have designed.

I pray for my friends who are currently pregnant and experiencing fear in regard to possible loss. Some who have scary situations involving bleeding, some who have premature labor, some who have no symptoms except previous loss history. I pray that they are comforted by you and that you fill them with your peace. I pray that you allow their children to live and to thrive in this world. I ask that you protect them and their babies as they journey this path that is paved with fear. You tell us in the bible over and over again that we are to "fear not, for you are with us". I thank you that you walk this journey with us and I pray that you calm the storms.

I pray for all those who are reading that they come to know who you are and seek out a place to experience YOU on your birthday, this Christmas. I pray that they are receptive to your gift and take time to remember that Jesus is the Reason for the Season. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

Anyone want to join me for a special Christmas Eve Church service? Check out this website and send me a message. I will meet you there on Christmas Eve (I work on Thursday, so I can't make that day, sorry!)


  1. You continue to amaze me everyday! Do you watch the show guiliana and bill? It reminds me a lot of the stuggle of trying to get pregnant. We are definitly not alone. I am thankful everyday with my pregnancy even though it has not been easy. I know the feeling of not having control of your own body. I feel the struggle to get pregnant and remain pregnant is one of the hardest emotional and physical thing out there. I continue to think of ethan, your baby girl and your future miracle baby. One day we will all be eating ice cream together:) xoxo

  2. Sunshine, I just started crying when you said you had a daughter. I am so truly sorry for yet another loss. I am glad that everything looks ok genetic-wise though. Tons of hugs to you. You are absolutely the strongest person I know and you continue to prove to me how strong one can truly be with your faith and willingness!

  3. Oh yeah, a big Guiliana and Bill fan! I hope that there is more hope for me because soon after they aired that she had a miscarriage, so did I! Thankfully I didn't have to have IVF! For those of you who haven't seen it, it is a comedic reality show about these celebs who are undergoing fertility treatments...you can catch the reruns of this season on Style network. Here is a link to this week's schedule... http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/giulianaandbill/schedule/index.jsp

    I hope to bring home a little girl and boy some day soon...but the joy of the LORD is my strength. It is not of me, it is from God, alone. Celebrate Jesus' birth this Christmas!! He can do utterly amazing things in and through us!!