Pre surgery

I had the ultrasound today. Francie, the sweet ultrasound tech came in and did the scan. Instantly, I knew that there was no gestational sac in there, and she confirmed that she did not see anything and agreed that what had passed was indeed the sac. She took a lot of pictures and said she didn't see anything, but she wasn't the doctor, so she wasn't sure what they would do. My endometrium lining was 14 mm, and she suspected it was just blood. She took the pics to Dr. Randolph and came back in and said he would come talk to me about my options.

Dr. Randolph entered and said that if appears that I don't have all the tissue removed and we could do one of four things. 1. Wait and see if the tissue passes on its own over the next week, however there is risk of infection. 2. Take the Cytotec again, but my body still may not respond to it enough and then I would need to have a procedure. 3. Have the MVA (Manual Vacuum Aspiration) Procedure, a specific from of D&C, but small risks of infection and requires sedation. 4. General anesthesia operation at the hospital, more risk of bleeding, infection, anesthesia complications. I told him I wasn't sure what I wanted to do and he said he felt comfortable with any of the options. I let him know that my biggest fear was emergency bleeding or other health concerns for me. He said, well, we can tentatively schedule a surgery and then let you wait to see if it passes, but that gets tricky if there is an emergency and you would have to do the operation, which poses bigger risks of bleeding. He said, "I know, you being in the medical profession that you have some real concerns." I chuckled a little and told him I wasn't a med pro, but just research about things associated with my body. He said, yeah, but that kinda makes you a professional, you have a lot of medical knowledge and it shows. But, do what makes sense to you.

At this time, a nurse knocked on the door and asked for him. He shooed her away and said, "I'm talking with this patient." He was so patient with me and went over all the details and risks to each option. He told me that I did nothing wrong. He looked me in the eyes and said, "you are so strong for what you have both been through, I know it is tough and you don't think so, but you are." I asked Shaun what he thought and he adamantly refused for me to take the cytotec again and told the doctor that the longer this goes on the more anxious and fear it will bring for me, so he just wanted it out of me with the least complications as quick as possible. I had to agree with him. Even as anxious as I was with having the procedure.

So, I chose to do the MVA at 9:30am. The doctor reassured me and went over risks, but said, that he is required by law to share them with me, but if he thought for one second that I was going to have any of these complications he would not have me do it here in this office. He said, he has has patients where he has refused to do the procedures because of their high risk. I asked him, "even with my history with abruption, and bleeding out, and uterine atony, and whatever else?" He nodded confidently and said, "yes, even with your history. You will do fine."

The nurse came in to go over the specifics with me. I told her about my surgical anxiety and asked her to go over details with me. I will come in and have versed and Fentanyl and once I am comfortable the procedure will begin and it will take 5 minutes and then it is over and I can start to recover from the meds. Recovery should take 1/2 hour. I should be out of the office by 10:30-11:00am. Sounds like the versed will cause some amnesia, so I shouldn't remember much and I can have any kind of music I want playing on Pandora. So, Contemporary Christian. Anyone have a Contemporary Christian radio station on Pandora they like that I can request? I need some Worship music in the treatment room. Everything happens quickly and Shaun can be right there with me. I told her that I have low blood pressure, so she is making sure that I get fluids just in case it gets low. And, she said that this procedure is done on ladies all the time (probably with abortions) and those ladies don't use meds, so we will use just the minimum amount of meds to make me comfortable. But, she doesn't want me to endure any pain.

I got to see right where it will happen and it is in a reclining chair with stirrups, and they have a blanket warmer. So, I think it is the best possible scenario. I am scared, but I will do it to get it done.

However, doctor did say that if I pass the tissue tonight, which CAN happen, then they will do an ultrasound just before the procedure and if everything is passed by then, they will cancel it. I AM PRAYING that it all passes and I don't have to do it. But, if not, I pray that no matter what God is with me, that he won't allow harm to me, and that HE IS IN CONTROL.

Father, thank you for allowing me to pass the fetus and gestational sac on my own. I am grateful for having seen your creation at its core. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made and ask that you show how you are the Great Physician and you can heal my body. I pray that you allow me to pass the rest of the remaining tissue on my own, but if you choose not to, I pray that you allow the doctor to be guided by your hand, your love and your plan. Give me peace and rest over this night and I pray that you help me to not have fear or anxiety. You are holy and marvelous and I am begging to let your glory be shown above all else. In Jesus' name, AMEN!