Month 15, Cycle 13, Day 9

Today, I enjoyed spending some quality time with my hubby. The weather was nice, the air was fresh, the sky was clear and it was enjoyable. Especially in my native tongue. Hehehe! Last week, I received a phone call from my school district that said there was a Teacher Assistant position that I could be recalled to if I were fluent in Spanish (remember that I was laid off from this district as of June). I told them that I was intrigued, as one of my majors in college was Spanish, but that I hadn't used it in over 7 years. I was encouraged to study and that I would have formal testing to establish fluency some time this week. So, the last seven days I have spent studying, thinking, speaking, and dreaming in Spanish. Although I am far from fluent, I have *some* ability and think that I may have a shot at this position. At any rate, I HAVE to attempt it, because in order to keep doing fertility treatments, I need insurance to cover the costs. The fluency test has yet to be scheduled, so the studying continues, but today was my sabbatical. Free of Spanish. Pero, solo un poco.

Ahem, Back to Fertility news:
My hubby and I leisurely enjoyed the hour-long drive to Ann Arbor this afternoon. Sun beaming in through the windshield, the windows open to allow the cool breeze to enter in, smiling and holding hands and gazing in the neighborhoods, peering toward potential new homes, places we may be comfortable raising kiddos, should these treatments allow.

Our informational "next steps" appointment with the Head doctor at the clinic was scheduled for 4:30pm. We waited patiently for the doctor in his office, and finally had a chance to discuss the plan with him. Amazingly, he told us what we already know, but for some reason, hubby and I thrive on hearing him tell us what other resident doctors had been saying. So here's what the doctor said!

"This is the month, right? It is, I am positive that things will work out for you. The reason you are here is to discuss what the next step is, in case this isn't the month. But, it is, so keep thinking positively. What we know from the last 3 months of monitoring you on Femara is that you both are working like you should. No blockages in the tubes, the sperm can travel and meet the egg, the egg can be fertilized. The only problem is statistics. 15-20% of conceptions end before a period and we are just glad to know that you were able to achieve pregnancy. And I am confident that you will again. Now, if not this month, then let's give you a little extra of what is needed to get great eggs and then that will be the month. The femara works to make your brain produce FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and the shots are just giving you the FSH bypassing the brain. But, since we want you to only have ONE or TWO (at the most) follicles, I recommend doing a hybrid cycle, in which you take Femara the same way you do now, and then add a few days of FSH injections and then do the hCG when you are about to ovulate. The risks are minimal and we will do careful monitoring with lab work and ultrasounds and you will do just fine. But, this month is the month!!"

His confidence and compassion are astounding. I admire his calm. I asked him some questions that I am sure he wasn't prepared for, and he leaned forward, squinted and stroked his chin. Two times he did this. Shaun and I are cracking up thinking about it. "He sure didn't expect those, did he?" I ask. Nope. Hehehe!

The nurse came in and gave me the followup paperwork, and prescriptions. The plan is as follows, I have a day 14 u/s this Tuesday to see if I am going to ovulate and if so, then I will get a shot of hCG. I will have to have an injection instruction appointment the following Tuesday. If I am not pregnant by the Tuesday after that, then I will set up a baseline ultrasound for day 3. After that I will take Femara days 3-7. On day 7 I will give myself a shot in the evening. I will take a shot each evening days 7, 8, 9. On day 10 I will have an ultrasound and bloodwork to see how everything is progressing. They will call me that evening and tell me if I am to give myself another shot of FSH that evening and the next. Then I have another ultrasound/bloodwork on day 12. They will tell me again in the evening when/if I take more FSH and hCG. If it is necessary I will return every two days until I am ready to give my hCG shot. Then I will do the things necessary to conceive and wait again. Whew. I am tired just thinking and typing all that!!!

After the appointment, hubby and I went to Macaroni Grill for a romantic italian dinner! Era muy fantastico! And then even though I knew the music in the background was probably an Italian serenade and not a Spanish Salsa, I was sure I could translate it all...So much for a day away from study. We held each other close and enjoyed a bowl of spaghetti, lady and tramp like. Muah!

Father, thank you for the opportunities and the laughs you have filled my life with. I appreciate that amidst the uncertainty in my life, you have allowed me to feel fulfilled and loved. I pray that you continue to provide this overwhelming sense of peace as the uncertainty continues. And ask that you provide some stability in the form of income or baby or both!

I thank you so much for answered prayer in the form of pregnant women who have gone on to deliver healthy little ones, in those who are newly pregnant and finding out wonderful news about their impending pregnancies, and for allowing me to be apart of their experiences. I pray for those waiting to hear from you in the desert. When we are all in limbo waiting, wondering, hoping and praying, I ask that you continue to remind us that you are GOOD all the TIME. Keep the little ones that are to be safe until they are born healthy and thriving.

In Jesus' holy, wonderful, precious and loving name, AMEN!!