Month 14, Cycle 12, Day 1

Aunt Flo arrived exactly on time, 28 days after she had arrived before. She didn't miss a beat. I knew she was coming from the reminders she was leaving me for the past three days: the headaches, the cramping, the irritability, the spots on my tissue. The first time I met her was when I was 11 years old. What a blessing she was back then. My family threw a party for us because we had met. She introduced me to womanhood. I was so excited to know her because, as my mom told me, she is the reason I will be able to have children someday! That was reassuring; that even though I knew she will nag and cause me grief a few days out of every month, when I am ready she will cease for nine months and I will birth another human being to this world. How wonderful her job is, I thought! I remember thinking that she was the best thing that might ever happen to me. Oh, I knew that children were something that I had always wanted, and I wanted to do it right. She would allow me to get married first, enjoy my husband, and start a career. I knew that because she was faithful every month, that I would be able to count on her when it was time to give my love to another generation. After all, she introduced me to womanhood, shouldn't she follow through with her promise to motherhood? As I sit here in her company tonight, I am disappointed in her. Thank you Aunt Flo for being a welcomed friend in times in my life when the world just wasn't right. And thank you again for reminding me that the world still isn't what it should be.

Just sharing today that I am sad to welcome her presence today. The last month has been too emotional for me. I am grieving my babies and the loss of my vitality. Life suddenly seems very short. I am not completely defeated, though, because MY REDEEMER LIVES! Listen to this song as it mirrors my heart in this very moment. Please stay tuned in the next few days. I have a wonderful message to share with you.

Thank you Father for your faithfulness despite mother nature's let down. She was never meant to take your place. You are the one and only GOD! I pray Jesus that you show yourself merciful and gracious. I pray that you allow me the opportunity to love others through my sadness and to show them that you are the only way. YOU ALONE ARE WORTHY! I will not bow down to another. I seek you with my whole heart!!! In Jesus' Name, AMEN!