19 weeks, 1 day

Oh, the joy of pregnancy. I adore it. Life within me. It is especially affirming when I think I know that baby is kicking daily and the back is up against this side or the head is pounding on my pelvic bone, etc., and then the ultrasound confirms my thoughts. I am in LOVE.

Yesterday was our BIG ultrasound. Thanks to my losing Ethan, I am blessed with many ultrasounds this pregnancy, but this was the main one. The one that proves health and all body structures present and the presence or not of a penis!

My husband was able to get out of a couple of hours of clinicals to go with me. The appointment was in the late afternoon. It has been super important for us to know the gender of the baby so we could finally talk about names. For some reason, Shaun refuses to discuss serious names if he is unsure of the sex.

The day was beautiful. The sun shone bright amidst a clear blue sky with a light breeze. After an hour's drive to the doctor, we proudly walked in the office. There were several visibly pregnant women there, all waiting on ultrasounds as well. Since this is a high risk office, there is no measuring tape to guess baby's size. Every one has a more accurate ultrasound to assess baby's health.

We met Francie, a distinctly different ultrasound tech from the Francie at the U of M fertility office, but her namesake nonetheless. This dark haired lady hurried me onto the table and dug in with her probe. With my notepad in tow, I asked her to please explain what she was seeing and share with me the details. My list looks like this:

u/s sonographer: Francie
measuring: 19 weeks, 1 day
weight: 275 grams
Placenta: looks good, homogeneous, no clots or sub-chorionic hematomas
Umb. Cord: insertion is good, 3 vessels all flowing
heart rate: 144 beats per minute
Heart: 4 chambers, valves operational
Right and left ovaries: both 2.4 mm, back to normal size
cervical length: 3.5cm (perfectly normal)
anything unusual? Nothing found
10 fingers, 10 toes: YES!
head circumference: 16.22 cm
head diameter: 4.21 cm
femur length: 2.94 cm
abdominal circumference: 14.12 cm
Presence of 2 kidneys, kidney arteries, lungs, amniotic fluid, arms, legs, and a PENIS!!

We were so excited. All in all the ultrasound took 35 minutes. As soon as she revealed the sex, she had me leave the room to empty my bladder so she could see my cervix as baby's head was stuck down there. She turned the lights on, and Shaun was grinning. Probably the biggest grin I have ever seen. Similar to the grin I saw him have when he held Ethan for the first time. Even though we knew at that time that it was 90% likely he would die, Shaun smiled proudly for the camera. I knew he wanted a boy. Almost as much as I wanted a girl. I smiled, too, and said, "well, I guess we are having more kids." I thought if I got a girl, then maybe I would be done with this roller coaster of infertility and pregnancy. I guess not.

The rest of the ultrasound continued and then it was time for the doctor appointment. Luckily I brought with me a copy of a website detailing the exact sizes everything should be so I could compare notes. Every single thing was right on the button. Not a single measurement was off by a couple of mm. Shaun took note that baby's upper lip seemed to be sticking out as far as his nose, "He's gonna be able to stick his tongue out and touch his nose like his mama!" Not something I am currently proud of, but I do have an uncanny ability to do this. Hehe!

I only gained 2 pounds from the last visit 4 weeks ago and that brings my total weight gain to 12 pounds since ovulation day....136.4. Yikes. I finally admitted it. My goal is to stay under 150. That was my starting weight with Ethan's pregnancy. I was much more of a chunkier girl then, and I worked hard for 5 years to bring my weight down, don't want to ruin it now. Blood pressure is low: 100/62 and doctor seems to think I will be getting dizzy over the next few weeks as my blood pressure may drop even lower. She is confident that everything is going great and recommended that I visit her again in 3 weeks. So, next ultrasound and appointment will be June 24 @ 10am!!!

I am so blessed. I wrote in my notebook as we sat in the waiting room in between the ultrasound and the doctor . . . SO OBSESSED WITH THIS LITTLE BOY!

Father, Thank you so much for a calm visit, a healthy baby and a beautiful dream coming true in our 2nd son. We are beyond blessed and ask that you continue to bless this pregnancy. Give us the strength to endure the next 20 weeks, and to bring home this healthy robust young boy to his EARTHLY home!

I pray for my friends who have just given birth, that you continue to show them how much of a blessing they have received. I also pray fervently for baby Sutton who is undergoing surgery at this moment for a bowel obstruction. At only one week old, I beg that you keep him safe, make him healthy and pull him through surgery with your tender loving arms and place him back in his mother's arms. I pray that you allow him to heal quickly so he may go home with his mama as early as next week.

Thank you so much for the blessing of friendship and for so many people you have placed into my life to mentor, to learn from and to love. We ask all this in Jesus' name, AMEN!